Adopting From Haiti

The Apparent Project

2012-03-09T21:57:00.000-05:00

Julie learned about a great organization the other day called The Apparent Project (she found it while reading through some posts from Tiffany Savage who is connected with the Embrace ministry and also adopting from Children of the Promise). While The Apparent Project is focused on families and orphan care, the main focus is committed to keeping Haitian families together as opposed to focusing on adoption. You can read more about their work by clicking here. The more we read about this ministry the more we like what they do. We are exploring some ways that we can become more involved in assisting their work. We'll probably be posting more information about this soon.

In the meantime, the following video does a great job describing this organization:

What, Exactly, Is the IBESR?

2012-03-08T21:28:00.000-05:00

Early in January I wrote a post with the title "Keeping Haiti in the Headlines." Unfortunately, over the past month Haiti has appeared in the headlines several times with the resignation of the Prime Minister and, most recently, with the news that another earthquake rocked the country. Fortunately, it doesn't seem as though this earthquake has caused much damage but we're still waiting to find out what the transition of the Prime Minister will mean for the length of our process.

This is the second major administrative transition in Haiti in the past five months (the IBESR director was replaced in November 2011). The whole concept of the IBESR seems like a great mystery. Just in the past few days we've been asked several times why it's taking so long for our adoption paperwork to be approved. Honestly, we don't have a complete answer to that question. So, while we're waiting, I thought it would at least be helpful to learn a little about the process that is taking so long to complete.

The most commonly searched for phrase that leads people to our blog (from Google or Bing) is some combination that includes the letters IBESR. Since I've written about the IBESR several times, tonight I just want to provide a summary of some of the things we've learned about what the IBESR is. [Some of this information is taken from this blog, but since the author indicated that she will be deleting that content soon, it seems like this is a good time to share some of her ideas.]

IBESR stands for is "Institut du Bien Etre Social et de Recherches" (this is French, in case you weren't sure). We've read many blogs that refer to this part as the "Big Black Hole" of the adoption process. As I wrote above, the questions we've recently received about the delay in our process only confirms this feeling. The IBESR is the Haitian equivalent of the Department of Family and Children's Services and is responsible for approving each international adoption and ensuring that the adoptive family meets criteria, that the child is eligible for adoption, and that the adoption itself is legitimate, according to Haiti's adoption legislation.

In addition to learning what the IBESR is, we've also had to learn what the IBESR does. So, we're trying to understand all the different legal steps necessary to get our paperwork approved. I first found the following timeline on this website and sent it to our Country Program Coordinator to make sure it is up to date and accurate. Here are the steps:

1) Minister of Foreign Affairs (MFA)
Also called "First Legalization". This is where all of the papers are authenticated.

2) File prepared for IBESR (Concurrent with MFA)
When the paperwork is at Foreign Affairs, your lawyer must prepare your file for IBESR. IBESR requires that the paperwork be in a certain order. The social history and psychological examination required by IBESR for your child must be made during this period. It involves putting the child's social information into a home study format with your home study information.

3) IBESR
Your child's paperwork is put together with your documents and the file is then presented to IBESR where a social worker will look over all of your documents and decide whether to approve your adoption request. The director of IBESR, the IBESR lawyer, the head of adoption services at IBESR, and the IBESR social worker must all sign off on your dossier. This is four stages of approval.

Of course, these steps are all after everything that was completed in the United States! Our paperwork is still in the IBESR, but we're not sure which of the four stages it is in (you can read our full timeline by clicking here). There are additional steps but I hesitate to write about something that we have yet to experience.

If you are going through the adoption process, hopefully you have found this helpful. If you are following our story, you now have better insight into why the process is taking so long.

You can click here to read the latest update we've receive about our adoption file.

Adoption Fundraising

2012-03-04T13:48:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about fundraising today for a few reasons. First, over the past week I've been working on our 2011 taxes and have been doing some research on the available adoption tax credit. Second, we learned yesterday that we will receive $133.58 from the fundraiser at Buffalo Wild Wings (adding the $20 from someone who was not able to make it that evening brings the total to $153.58).

Thank you to everyone who joined us that evening. We are constantly reminded that it takes many people to adopt a child. We saw many friends from church, work, and some of my students come together for good food and an enjoyable evening.

If you are simply looking to find out how much money we made that evening you probably have found out the information you are looking for. Before you move on to reading other things, thanks again for the part you are playing in our adoption.

But, if you are interested in a few more thoughts about adoption fundraising, keep reading. I won't go into the various costs of our adoption since I've written about that topic before. Also, I won't go into a great justification about why we've chosen to have adoption fundraisers since I've written about that before as well.

My main thoughts today have to do with the general topic of adoption fundraising and some things we're learning along the way.

First, it's best to diversify the types of fundraising options you pursue. Our first fundraising effort in December was more of an event. It was held at our church and involved programs for children (including a puppet show and music), food from Chick-fil-A, and a full display set up by Delicate Fortress Creations. Our Buffalo Wild Wings fundraiser took something that many people do on regular basis (eat out) and turn it into money towards our adoption. Each type of fundraiser had its positives and negatives. The first event produced much more money and provided a chance for everyone to sit and be entertained but it was much more work.

Second, if someone suggests an idea for a fundraiser listen to them. As I've written before, the reason we are having these fundraising events is because someone from our church approached us and asked if she could help us raise funds (obviously we said "yes"). We loved the idea for the first event from the time we heard the details. Honestly, we weren't sure whether the Buffalo Wild Wings fundraiser would be a success or not. No, it didn't make as much money as the first event; but, we've stopped determining success based on the total amount of money a long time ago. Of course there could be a bad fundraiser idea (I'm stopping myself from typing random bad ideas) but we haven't encountered one so far. If you are working with someone for your fundraising, trust their ideas and see what happens.

Third, be honest about your finances. In the past few days we've been contacted by one of our good friends who said that an anonymous donor wants to give us $1000 toward our adoption expenses. They've asked us to give them a general idea about how we are paying our expenses and how much money we have remaining. I haven't posted all of those details on this blog but we'll be happy to share with anyone who asks.

If you would like other information about adoption fundraising (or have ideas to share) please post a comment or email us. Also, if you would like to read the "thank you" from our December fundraiser you can click here.

A Little Adoption Blog Talk [February 2012]

2012-03-01T20:46:00.000-05:00

I find it helpful to look back over the past month's entries every so often. Instead of randomly trying to do this I've decided that the end of the month is a good time to think through what I've written on this blog. One of the challenges of having an active blog is feeling like there is something significant to write about on a regular basis. If you are following our adoption story you may have noticed that I did write as much during the month of February as I have in the past. While there are many reasons for writing less, one of the main reasons is because we're stuck in the waiting phase of our adoption. Our paperwork is completed, our referrals are accepted, and now...we wait for our first trip to Haiti.

So, while we wait, here are the most read posts of the last month:

1) Buffalo Wild Wings Fundraiser

Originally Posted: 2/9/2012

2) Plus Two
Originally Posted: 12/21/2011

3) About Us
Originally Posted: 12/21/2011

4) Guest Adoption Story: Bringing Levi Home From Haiti

Originally Posted: 1/27/2012

5) We Have an Update About Our Children

Originally Updated: 1/5/2012

You can read previous monthly updates by clicking the dates below:

January 2012
December 2011
November 2011

We had just under 4000 hits this past month. One of the things I've learned is that the best way to generate traffic (or, readers) on the blog is to write new posts. A second way is to link an occasional post to Facebook. My guess is that I write more over the next month the number of readers will increase as well.

Our goal is to share some updates over the next few days.

Thanks for reading.

It Takes a Village to Adopt a Child

2012-02-20T21:38:00.000-05:00

Okay, I did a quick Google search and realized that I'm about the 15th person to use this as the title for a post on an adoption blog. But, since it's presidential primary season (Several years ago Rick Santorum wrote a book called It Takes a Family to Raise a Child in response to Hillary Clinton's It Takes a Village to Raise a Child...of course, if you don't know who these people are just skip to the next paragraph) and there is no copyright on adoption blog titles, I'm going to use it anyhow.

On to the post...This past weekend Julie and I had a chance to interact with several people about our adoption experiences.

On Sunday morning I led a brief discussion in a Sunday School class at the Kingwood Church of God in southwestern Pennsylvania. This was the first chance we had to lead a formal conversation about the biblical foundations of adoption. I tried to make two specific points with the discussion. First, it's important to recognize that there is a biblical precedent for conversations related to adoption within the walls of a church. [You can read more about what I've written related to this point by clicking here.] Second, James 1:27 provides strong support for the church's involvement in ministries related to orphan care and adoption. [You can read more about what I've written related to this point by clicking here.]

Some of the more intriguing conversations revolved around what would happen if someone of a different race or ethnicity walked into this church? Would they feel welcome? What if someone who was HIV+ walked into this church? Would they feel welcome? How would childcare workers react? As adoption becomes more common these are the very questions that churches need to be willing to discuss in an open and honest manner.

Also over the weekend, we spent some time with Julie's family due to the death of one of her family members. Julie was talking with a cousin about how they've been passing around the book Kisses From Katie. It's amazing how God can redeem moments of grief and death by providing opportunities for conversations like these. Several of her extended family members have been reading this blog and some have been sharing it with friends (they may even be reading this post!). Thank you for passing along what we're writing to others who may be interested.

We're very capable of having conversations that have nothing to do with adoption. But, as we get deeper in the process, that aspect of our lives seems to be what most people are interested in right now. So, yes, it does take a village and a church and a family to adopt a child. In fact, friends from Erie, PA, are at Buffalo Wild Wings right now helping us raise money to bring our children home.

My hope and prayer is that there will be many more conversations like the ones we had this weekend.

Why Aren't More People Asking These Questions?

2012-02-14T21:56:00.000-05:00

Since writing this article and posting this on Julie's Facebook account we've received several good questions that are worth passing along here. It would be great if others who have insights and responses to these questions would join the conversation. So, I will post the questions and share my thoughts in reply. Feel free to share additional thoughts as well.

1) While adopting these Haitian orphans is a wonderful thing, there are so many kids right here in the States who need a home. One such young man is Shawn (you can watch his video by clicking here) who lived next to me as a toddler foster child and then moved away as he was bounced around to foster home after foster home. He is currently in a group facility.

2) I'm all for adopting, from Haiti or elsewhere. But is it safe? As to that, I mean is there enough government infrastructure so you know the baby isn't being sold? Do you have any information I can share that would help him?

Before attempting to answer either question, I think it's worth pointing out that these are exactly the types of questions that more people should be asking. These questions shouldn't be viewed as a threat but as an opportunity to learn more about adoption and orphan care and talk about the difficult parts. Too often the Church has placed adoptive parents on a platform to celebrate the adoption of a child without honestly asking where the child came from or seeking information about the system that put the child in that position in the first place. If we take James 1:27 literally, that we should "look after widows and orphans in their distress," then I think we have to consider not just the happy stories about orphan care but also the circumstances that lead to adoption being the solution.

Question # 1: Why adopt from Haiti when there are many children from the United States in need of adoption?

My response (I am intentionally not calling this "My answer" since there are many appropriate ways to respond): I'm not sure it has to be an either/or situation. In other words, why do we have to focus only on children in the United States or only on children around the world? Why can't we do both? Julie and I sense a genuine call to adopt from Haiti. Others feel a genuine call to adopt from the foster system in the U.S.

My growing concern is that the Church too often accepts the U.S. foster system as a given and never challenges why it exists the way it does. Why are children like Shawn in "the system" in the first place? If his parents are still living, could the Church have done more to provide support to them to help keep their family together?

The same is true of international orphanages and creches like the one we are working with in Haiti. Are we, as a Church, doing all we can to keep families together? Too often it seems that international adoption is viewed as a solution to the problem of infertility and the perceived needs of families in the United States. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the circumstances making children available for adoption such as poverty and preventable disease and death were eliminated?

Question # 2: Should international adoptions cease due to the concerns about child trafficking?

My response: Again, this is a great question.. Speaking for our personal situation, we know that the creche where our children are living, Children of the Promise, along with the Haitian court system have verified the documentation that allows us to say confidently that our children aren't sold for profit. But, we have talked with others who are active in other parts of Haiti where parents continue to offer children for adoption because they know life will be better somewhere else.

Orphan care is not just about adoption. Orphan care is also about finding ways to support widows who desperately want to keep their children from becoming orphans.

If you are interested in a more academic critique of the evangelical orphan care movement, you can click here to read one author's perspective. The author, David Smolin, suggests that much harm has been done in the name of the movement. I don't agree with all of his conclusions, but I think he makes some good points.

My answers may offend some and be unsatisfying to others. But, I guess my main point is that these are tough questions that need to be raised and discussed in an honest and constructive atmosphere. I appreciate the willingness to share them.

USCIS Survey on Intercountry Adoption

2012-02-11T20:48:00.000-05:00

A friend let us know about this survey. The following is taken directly from the Joint Council on International Children's Services website:

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee has provided adoptive families and service providers a unique opportunity to directly inform U.S. government policy makers on the process of intercountry adoption. The Committee has released a survey, the results of which will inform policy makers on adoptive families’ experiences when interacting with U.S. government officials during the intercountry adoption process. The survey seeks to collect responses from adoptive families, potential adoptive families and adoption service providers. Data from this survey will be used to help identify areas of possible improvement within the current process. All questions should be answered based on your personal experience with U.S. government officials (not with your adoption agency representative). Your candid answers are appreciated. The responses will be consolidated and presented in a cumulative format. No personal identifying information will be included or divulged.

Results received by February 14 at 5:00pm will be made available to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee for use in an upcoming roundtable on intercountry adoption. The survey will remain open until March 1.

If you are an adoptive parent or prospective adoptive parent, please use the following link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Surveyonintercountryadoptionparents

If you represent an adoption agency, please use the following link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Surveyonintercountryadoptionasp

Thank you for your time and participation.

Orphan Care & Adoption: A Human Sign of a Spiritual Reality

2012-02-09T20:27:00.002-05:00

I wrote the following article for the February/March 2012 issue of the Church Advocate, the official publication of the Churches of God, General Conference. If you have difficulty reading the article, clicking on each page should allow you to read the words more clearly.

We are Continually Amazed

2012-02-08T21:01:00.000-05:00

Julie found another blog today written by a couple who works at Children of the Promise. After clicking on the "Preschool" tab at the top of their blog you can scroll down and find this picture:

Yes, this is our little guy. Reading through the preschool activities is really impressive. The amount of time, energy and effort that goes into our children continually amazes us. If you scroll down our blog and look for "My Blog List" on the right hand side you can see a few new blogs that will provide even more insight into all that goes into the children at COTP.

Feel free to email us with any specific questions. I know from reading our blog stats that many people find this blog by searching for "Haiti adoptions" or "Children of the Promise." We highly recommend Children of the Promise and will be happy to give more information about our experiences. In fact, Julie received an email from someone from a western US state a few weeks ago. She found our blog and was interested in Julie's perspective on a few specific items.

Welcome New Readers!

2012-02-04T20:15:00.001-05:00

Welcome!

Since we started this blog in late October 2011, I have never officially said "thank you for reading". Many of you have been following this blog for several months while others may be here for the first time. Either way, thank you for taking the time to learn more about orphan care in general and our story in particular. A few months ago I wrote an article for the Church Advocate, the official publication of the Churches of God, General Conference, that explores ways the church can become more involved in orphan care. That article has now been published and may be the reason why you are checking out this blog. Regardless of why you are here, I want to take a few moments and give you a brief idea of what you will find on this blog.

For those of you interested in reading more about orphan care, you can check out the recommended reading list on the left sidebar. Or, you can click here to read my post about the book Radical or here to read my post about the book Kisses from Katie.

For those of you interested in finding out more about us and the children we're adopting, you can click on the pictures of our family in the upper right corner of the blog. Or, you can click here to see a picture and read more about our children.

For those of you interested in reading a firsthand account of a recent adoption from Haiti, you can click on the picture in the upper left and read more about Levi. Or, you can click here to begin reading his story.

For those of you interested in receiving a personal email every time I update this blog, you can type your email address in the box on the left side directly under the adoption story.

For those of you interested in asking questions or sharing additional resources, you can post a comment in response to this post or any of the others you read on this blog.

For those of you interested in finding some church-related resources for orphan care or listening to a few sermons about the biblical foundation of adoption, you can find the Labels section on the right sidebar and click on "Biblical Foundations of Adoption". Or, click here to see all the posts related to that topic.

For a look at adoption through the eyes of an academic, you can click here.

As you can see, there are many resources and stories on this blog. Take your time to read through and feel free to email me if you have any other questions (you can find our contact information by clicking on the "About Us" picture in the upper right corner).

Happy Reading!

How Will Our Experience Be Different?

2012-02-01T21:41:00.000-05:00

Last week, I posted the story of Levi [you can begin to read his story by clicking here.] Since this was a guest post about another couple's adoption experience, some of you may be wondering how their experiences compare with ours. I sent an email to our Country Program Coordinator for A Love Beyond Borders, Stephanie Thoet, and asked if she could read the post and share how their story compares to ours.

Here's her reply:

Basically, what they are describing are the same steps that Children of the Promise (COTP) and A Love Beyond Borders (LBB) will do for you. When you do travel to pick up the kids, they will already have their visas and their IBESR exit papers. Your final trip will consist of flying down and picking up your babies.

When you file your I-600 [this is why we'll travel the first time] we will also have all documents prepared and ready. All you have to do is show up and sign when directed to do so by the USCIS officer.

When we first began our adoption journey we were overwhelmed with all the different options available, as far as creches and agencies. We feel very fortunate to be working with both COTP and LBB.

One of the reasons people love to read different adoption stories is because they are all a little different. I've been in contact with a few more people and will be posting some additional stories over the next few months. It's helpful to hear someone's story and see how our experience is different.

A Little Adoption Blog Talk [January 2012]

2012-01-31T21:23:00.000-05:00

As we wrap up January (it was 55 degrees in Erie, PA, today), I want to provide a brief summary for those who may be interested in the "behind the scenes" aspect of this blog. One of the elements that has been helpful to get a better sense of who is reading this blog is Google Analytics. By signing up for this feature I can see how many people are logged on at a time, where they are from, and how long they stay on the blog. Don't worry, I don't have enough information to show up on your doorstep. My main interest is that it provides insight into what types of posts readers are most interested in. Blogger, the host site for this blog, provides a stats page that provides basic numbers but it isn't nearly as sophisticated as what I can see now. I know that many bloggers already know about this site, but it's new to me. Let me know if you are interested in more information and I'll be happy to pass along what I know.

I want to thank my friend, Eric Grabowsky, for suggesting that I add Google Analytics as a tracking tool. Also, Eric has been helpful in thinking through some strategies to reach a wider audience with this blog. In fact, you can read more about his consulting work by going to his main blog by clicking here. There you read more about his work on Occupy Consulting and other helpful insights.

Over the past few months I've provided an update about the top five most visited posts during the previous month. For the month of January, the most visited were:

1) Plus Two
Originally Posted: 12/21/2011

2) About Us
Originally Posted: 12/21/2011

3) We Have an Update About Our Children
Originally Updated: 1/5/2012

4) Viewing Adoption from the Ivory Tower
Originally Posted: 1/23/2012

5) Thank You!!
Originally Posted: 12/10/2011

Overall hits for the month were down, but we still had just over 5500, which seems like a pretty big number.

The referring sites and the searches used to find our site are similar to last month, so I won't repeat them here.

You can read previous updates by clicking the dates below:

December 2011
November 2011

Our Latest Update about IBESR

2012-01-28T16:00:00.000-05:00

We received an update this past week about our adoption timeline. Now that there is a new director of the IBESR our agency is recommending that we wait until our file exits the IBESR before making plans for our first trip to Haiti. We received confirmation on November 12, 2011, that our dossier was sent to the IBESR. The paperwork that we will sign on our first trip will only be valid for three months. If we travel too early (and our file takes longer to exit IBESR than hoped for) then we would have to make another trip to complete the same paperwork again. Once our paperwork exits IBESR and we make our first trip we will have to wait an additional five to seven months to make our return trip and bring our children home. To better understand our emotions while we wait, I recommend two posts that I've written over the past few months. Click here to read one entitled "Waiting" and click here to read one entitled "The Already/Not Yet-ness of Our Adoption".

Guest Adoption Story: Bringing Levi Home From Haiti

2012-01-27T20:28:00.002-05:00

We want to share the story of Levi, son of Jason and Jesse White, with you. To read part one, click here. To read part two, click here.

You can also read how our adoption experience will be different from Levi's story by clicking here.

Bringing Levi Home (Part Two)

2012-01-26T20:51:00.000-05:00

This post concludes the story Levi, the son of Jason and Jesse White. You can read part one by clicking here. Here's one of the first photos of their family all together:

- - - - - - -

"We went to the appointment in Haiti on Thursday, January 19, 2012, and that was very smooth and low key. We explained we were hoping to leave for home on Saturday, January 21 and the embassy told us to return Friday to pick up the visa. But they also had one more thing to tell our agent, Rachel. They informed her of a brand new requirement that IBESR (Haitian social services) had to prepare an authorization for the child to travel. The new IBESR director wanted to review and approve all kids before they left the country. This is when the excitement, nerves, and doubts started again. We rushed to IBESR to find out exactly what it would take to get their authorization. Rachel had to prepare a letter and have it notarized (not an easy feat in Haiti). Then they would not give us authorization without seeing his passport and visa.

We returned to the embassy Friday morning and found out their computer sytsem was down and they couldn't do anything until it came back up. We waited for a couple hours and still nothing, so we decided to go eat and come back at 2:00 p.m. Once outside the embassy, Rachel received a phone call that IBESR also needed passport photos of Jesse and me for the authorization packet. So, we had to find a guy along the side of the street in Port au Prince who could take and produce passport size photos of us. It took about 30 minutes, but we had six photos each in hand for $20!

We returned to the embassy at 2:15, still nothing. At 2:30 the gentleman came to the window to tell us all printing was done for the day, and that they had no authorizaiton to print Levi's yet, so it would be Monday, because they closed at 3:30 p.m. and it wasn't likely to happen on Friday. I asked if he could make a call to get verbal authorization or if he could do anything else to make it happen. He said all he could do was see if they got authorization before they closed, if they would be able to print it.

We told him we would stay untiil 3:00 p.m. and if we hadn't heard anything from him by then, we would leave. About 2:40 p.m. he came back to the window and said it had come through and they would print it. So, at about 3:00 we left the embassy with visa in hand. The next hurdle was the new requirement by IBESR and IBESR closed at 3:00 p.m., and this was Friday. Rachel had the US Embassy call IBESR to let them know we had the visa in hand and were on our way to them. Rachel also called the lady we were going to speak with at IBESR to ask them to wait for us, even though they were to be closing. Traffic was terrible in Port au Prince on a Friday afternoon and we didn't arrive at IBESR until 4:20 p.m. Their gate to the sidewalk was pushed almost closed, but we were able to get in and they were waiting for us. We gave them all they needed and they prepared the forms and then two different people at IBESR had to review it and sign - the division manager and the director, who was busy with an appointment. Finally, at 5:25 or so, we were leaving IBESR with the authorization in hand.

So, we were taken back to the guest house where we stay when visiting and enjoyed a meal and began packing to leave the next morning. We got up Saturday morning and ate breakfast and got all of our stuff ready to head to the airport. Levi's birth mom was told we were leaving Saturday and was able to come by the guest house and talk with us. She was able to hold and kiss Levi goodbye. We prayed with her and were able to have a great conversation and get some good photos to share with him later.

Rachel picked us up and drove us to the airport, where she said her goodbye to Levi, too. Once at the airport, a police officer outside of the airport had to review our passports and the IBESR authorization. Then we were allowed into the first security screen. The ticket agent at the counter reviewed the visa packet summary sheet (we had a brown envelope from the US Embassy that was to remain sealed until the Miami immigration officer opened it), and the IBESR authorization. Once we had our boarding passes, we headed through Haitian immigration where the IBESR authorization was read completely and we were asked for a photocopy that we didn't have. He reviewed for what seemed like eternity, but was really only a few minutes, then waved us through. At this point we could breathe, we had jumped the hurdles to take Levi out of Haiti!

When we were boarding our flight the crew member on the jetbridge had to see his passport, visa packet summary, and IBESR authorization again, and then we boarded the flight for the US!

Levi did great on the plane, even though he did not want to be buckled in. We arrived in Miami and went to the visitor immigration stands where the officer asked us what we knew about his birth parents. He then walked us to a waiting room and said we'd be interviewed by an immigration officer once his visa packet was reviewed. About 30 minutes later, they called our name and we went to the counter, and they handed us Levi's visa and said we were free to leave.

That was it, he was ours in the US!

The transition at home has been very smooth so far, just a few days into it. We were greeted at the airport in Fort Wayne on Sunday, Jan 22, by our family and a huge group of our church family."

You can see additional pictures and and a video of their return to the U.S. airport by clicking here.

Bringing Levi Home

2012-01-25T21:38:00.004-05:00

One of the things that Julie and I find encouraging as we wait for our children is to listen to the stories of others who have been able to bring their adopted children home. Jason and Jesse White brought their son, Levi, home from Haiti earlier this week and we want to share their story with you.

We've known Jason and Jesse for many years going back to our early days living in Findlay, Ohio. Jesse helped me pick out several gifts for Julie while she worked at Paul Harris in the Findlay Village Mall and Jason and I were in many seminary classes together. He was also with me the day that we drove around Findlay looking at engagement rings for Julie. I can still picture us sitting at Archies eating a barbecued rib sandwich wondering which ring to buy (I have an uncanny ability to remember the strangest things...). I was in their wedding and Jason was in ours.

But, as often happens, we graduated, got married, moved, and somehow stopped staying in touch. Thanks to Facebook (a phrase that I've never written before), we were able to reconnect after many years.

But, since I'm way off topic, let's get to the story of how Jason and Jesse were able to bring Levi home.

- - - - - - -

Here's the first part of their story, written by Jason:

"Jesse met Levi in June 2010 while on a week long mission trip with our church to MountainTop Ministries, about 16 miles south of Port au Prince up the mountain. We had been in the process of adopting from foster care in Indiana. Jesse met Levi when the team was taken to Rivers of Hope orphanage as part of a tour. She tickled his feet a little and he was smiling and laughing from his bouncy seat. He was 6 months old. Jesse decided to free him from the seat for a few minutes and, when she held him, she felt she was holding her own child. We communicated in the evenings via Facebook and email and decided to see if Levi was matched with a family yet. So, later that week while still in Haiti, we found out he was not matched and that Rachel, the orphanage owner/director approved us to be matched with him.

Jesse returned home on June 11, 2010, and we started the process of getting our home study completed and beginning to put our dossier together. On August 15, 2010, our completed dossier was delivered to Rachel in Haiti. Over the months, we made a few trips to visit Levi in Haiti. We visited in October 2010 and appeared before a judge to officially be matched with Levi. In March 2011 we made a trip to do our I-600 appointment at the US Embassy in Port au Prince. Upon returning home from Haiti in March, we received an email from Rachel saying that the next step was a new one and required at least one of us to appear before the Dean of the Republic of Haiti to be interviewed. The Dean is in charge of all the judges in Haiti. Jesse made that trip alone in April 2011, and the Dean signed our case in front of Jesse and Levi.

Our case moved along the courts in Haiti and other necessary offices to obtain all appropriate seals. In July 2011 we were told our case went to the Ministry of the Interior (MOI) in Haiti to have all paperwork reviewed for accuracy. We knew at this point it could be quick since all that was left after MOI was obtaining Levi's passport and visa.

We received an email in October 2011 that we were out of MOI and heading to Haitian immigration for passport. Four weeks later, we still did not have Levi's passport and learned that MOI had found Jesse's name misspelled on one document, so it had to be fixed. That required fixing the spelling and taking it to two or three offices to again obtain the seal that had already been obtained earlier.

Early December 2011 that was fixed and we were again at Passport. December 19 we received an email that Rachel had Levi's passport and was delivering all required documents to the US Embassy for visa processing.

It wasn't until January 13, 2012, that we received the email saying that Levi's visa appointment would be Thursday, January 19, 2012. We booked our flights and made plans to leave Indiana on January 18 to be in Haiti for the visa appointment."

This seems like a good place to stop for tonight. I'll post the rest of their story tomorrow night and you can learn how they were able to finally bring Levi home.

Until then...

[You can read part two of their story by clicking here.]

Viewing Adoption from the Ivory Tower

2012-01-23T21:15:00.000-05:00

This is my fifth year of teaching full-time at the university level (I spent one year at West Chester University of Pennsylvania and this is my fourth year at Gannon University) and today has to be one of the highlights of that teaching experience: I received my copy of the text that I wrote and was published in late 2011. The title of the book, Albert Camus's Philosophy of Communication: Making Sense of an Age of Absurdity, is exactly what it sounds like - an academic text that is intended for university students, professors, or others who are interested in the study of Albert Camus. This book has absolutely nothing to do with orphan care or adoption, but I do think that some of the ideas contained in the book can add a different perspective to this conversation. I'm not going to summarize the book or make a case for why you should buy and read it; although I do want to make a few connections between some of the ideas in the text and our adoption journey.

One of the legitimate arguments that can be directed at academics (on occasion) is that we, as a group, can focus on topics and ideas that are disconnected from everyday life. You may have heard the phrase "living in an ivory tower" being applied to some who teach within the university setting. Unfortunately, there are many examples of faculty members who are incredibly focused upon an area of study that has absolutely no connection to everyday life or the world outside of higher education. So, if the subtitle of the book is accurate, then some of the ideas should help us make sense of living in an age of absurdity. So, I'm going to highlight a few of the central concepts within the book and explore how each intersects with our adoption experiences and the experiences of many others.

The concept of absurdity is really the overall focus of the book. One way to think about absurdity is to consider the illogical contradictions found within everyday life. When explained in reference to adoption experience, think about these items:

In order for a family to be able to adopt a child, a mother must be willing to put the child up for adoption. Many of these mothers are women who happened to make a "bad choice" and now see the baby as a burden to their lifestyle or find that they may be unable to provide the necessary care . So, should a prospective adoptive family pray that somewhere out there is a woman makes a "bad choice" today so she gets pregnant with an unplanned baby? Then, should that adoptive family hope that same mother makes a "good choice" to put the baby up for adoption?
Within international adoption an orphan moves through the process much quicker than a child who has parents still living. So, in a strange twist, it actually benefits an adoptive family that their future child is an orphan although ideally the child would know his or her biological parents.
Many people who would make wonderful parents must go through piles of paperwork and home visits to adopt a child when there are many unfit parents who can have biological child after biological child.

What better word is there to describe these examples than absurdity?

Another concept that I focus on within the text is how the collapse of social practices contributes to absurdity as well as serves as an example of absurdity. Over the past few weeks I've posted several items about the biblical foundations of adoption. Within the New Testament the Apostle Paul saw adoption as a common practice of the first century that could help to explain the relationship between God and his followers. Yet, here we are in 2012 and there is an international orphan crisis in which millions of children are available for adoption. When did we, as a culture, stop practicing adoption? Over the past decade there has been a renewed interest in orphan care within the evangelical church but there is still much work to be done.

This leads to a third concept from the book, embedded rebellion. Stick with me here since I know that most of those reading this post are not thinking like an academic (ask Julie, you should be glad you don't). When we become aware of our absurd circumstances and we recognize that there aren't practices in place that allow us to do something about it, we may feel the need to respond. As Americans, we sometimes have the individualistic attitude that we can do it alone (the old "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality). But, embedded rebellion suggests that, yes, we must act in response to the absurd circumstances we see. But, that action is most effective when we respond from a story larger than ourselves. For Julie and I, we are working from a Christian perspective that gives us encouragement and helps us see our adoption story as part of God's larger working in the world and our lives.

There are three other central concepts within the book including dialogue, rehabilitating the public sphere, and responsibility. There are direct connections that I see between each one and what we're experiencing within our adoption. But, since my point is to simply make the case that some academic scholarship can actually help us better understand our lives I'll stop with what I've written so far.

I am so privileged to have a job in which I get paid to read about, think about, and teach others about ideas that make a difference in our daily lives. I do feel a burden to make sure what I am studying actually intersects with our everyday experiences. Perhaps I'll expand these ideas someday for another book, but that's for another day.

The Biblical Foundations of Adoption (Part Four)

2012-01-23T12:31:00.000-05:00

Over the past few weeks one of our friends has delivered a sermon series on Romans 8, which provides one of the best descriptions of spiritual adoption found in Scripture. You can listen to the first two sermons by following these links: Part One & Part Two. You can listen to the final sermon by clicking on the following file:

Adoption - The Love of God (Part Three) (Right Click & Save As)

You can read the notes from the sermon by clicking on the image below:

New Life for Haiti

2012-01-19T20:46:00.000-05:00

One of the by-products of entering into the adoption process is that we are now much more interested in organizations that are actively working to improve the living conditions in Haiti. An organization that we've known about for awhile is New Life for Haiti. We first met the director, Pastor Fran Leeman, at the Church Planters BootCamp that we attended in the early summer of 2001. Most of the work that New Life for Haiti does is in southern Haiti. As opposed to directly focusing on orphan care, the organization is working with communities to build schools and assist with other similar projects. If you happened to listen to either of the sermons that I posted over the past few weeks, you are familiar with the voice of one of the founders of New Life for Haiti, Pastor Brian Miller (you can go to part one of the sermons by clicking here and part two by clicking here).

My goal with this post is simply to make you aware of another resource if you are interested in getting more involved with Haiti. Please post any additional resources that you think will be of interest to those who are reading this blog.

When Did Haiti Become "Haiti"?

2012-01-18T21:25:00.000-05:00

Julie was at a doctor's appointment recently when the topic of our adoption was brought up. The initial reaction by her physician was "Haiti?" We're learning that we shouldn't be surprised by these responses whenever others learn the location where we will soon be traveling and where our children are currently living. One of my early posts on this blog was entitled "Where, Exactly, Is Haiti?" Don't be embarrassed if you have to click that to see where the island is located. We've encountered many people who don't know. Honestly, it's not really a place that many people think about on a day to day basis. But, this hasn't always been the case.

According to Jared Diamond, author of Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed, there was a time when Haiti was "the richest European colony in the New World and contributed one-quarter of France's wealth" (pg. 334). In this book, Diamond gives a relatively short and easy to understand description of how Haiti and the Dominican Republic can share one island but have very different cultures and future prospects for improvement. In fact, the title of the chapter says it all: "One Island, Two Peoples, Two Histories: The Dominican Republic and Haiti." Among the items that make these countries unique are environmental differences, social and political differences, the legacy left by slavery, and how each government handled the natural resources within their country (leading to heavy deforestation in Haiti).

One of the main points that Diamond makes throughout the book is that humans have made choices impacting each country. He goes as far as writing "a society's fate lies in its own hands and depends substantially on its own choices" (pg. 341). So, what does this have to do with us and our adoption?

First, our children will forever have connections to Haiti and, therefore, our family will forever be connected to that country as well. It makes sense to me to want to know something about a place that will play such an important role in our family.

Second, the video I posted last Thursday contained an interesting point raised by the new director of the IBESR: if the children of Haiti are the countries future and this future disappears due to adoption, what will happen to the country? From her viewpoint, if the conditions in the country are to improve then there must be children left who will lead the changes.

Third, and this is a more personal point, what role (if any) is God challenging us to play in helping Haiti develop into a more positive environment? Is our only connection to the country supposed to be adopting these two children and bringing them to the United States? Or, is there something more in our future related to Haiti? We have no idea what a greater level of involvement looks like even if we are supposed to do more.

So, when did Haiti become "Haiti?"? There's really not one specific date that we can point towards. There are many things in the country's history that moved them in that direction. But, it seems like sometime in the mid to late 1800s the country began moving in a direction from which it has never fully recovered.

Only God knows what the future holds for the country, our family, and our children. We pray that we can all be together soon and discover His leading as we move forward together.

The Biblical Foundations of Adoption (Part Three)

2012-01-18T11:47:00.002-05:00

Last week I posted a sermon delivered by one of our friends (you can go to that post by clicking here). His name is Brian Miller and he is pastor of The Crossover Church in Mattoon, Illinois. He explored the same theme this past week in a sermon entitled "Adoption - The Love of God (Part Two)." For those of you who are interested, you can listen to his sermon by clicking on the following file:

Adoption - The Love of God (Part Two) (Right Click & Save)
Since this sermon was a continuation of the one from last week, the notes are the same as well:

Everyone brings a different perspective to the adoption conversation. Feel free to post other resources in the comments section.

The Different Faces of Diversity

2012-01-16T21:50:00.000-05:00

I wrote a few days ago about the song "That's Just the Way it Is" and how our thinking about diversity has changed. It was wonderful to hear Zoe come home from school today talking about all that she learned about Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, Jr. (they had school today to make up for a snow day).

There's so much that can be said about the significance of today. Thank you to everyone who promotes conversations about diversity.

The Biblical Foundations of Adoption (Part Two)

2012-01-13T21:13:00.001-05:00

One of our good friends is pastor of The Crossover Church in Mattoon, Illinois. Last Sunday he preached a sermon on Romans 8 entitled "Adoption - The Love of God." For those of you who are interested, you can listen to his sermon by clicking on the following file:

Adoption - The Love of God (Right Click & Save As)

He also granted us permission to post the notes that are on the church's website. You can also right click and save the following file of the notes from his sermon:

Everyone brings a different perspective to the adoption conversation. Feel free to post other resources in the comments section.

You can read my post "The Biblical Foundations of Adoption (Part One)" by clicking here.

Keeping Haiti in the Headlines

2012-01-12T20:54:00.002-05:00

I was scanning a few adoption blogs tonight and noticed that most new posts are in recognition of the second anniversary of the earthquake the occurred in Haiti on January 12, 2010. It was around the time of the earthquake that we first entered the adoption process. We initially thought about Haiti but, due to the earthquake, international adoptions were stopped so we turned our attention to domestic adoption.

Several months after the earthquake, the Catholic News Service posted an article to help keep Haiti in the headlines of various news outlets. We definitely live in a media-saturated culture that goes from one "breaking news story" to another. We're bombarded with so many messages that it's easy to forget about what were the most important events of last week. Without an intentional effort, stories from a few years ago can be completely forgotten.

To help keep Haiti in the headlines, several news outlets ran stories about the country today. One in particular, CBS This Morning, ran a story that explores how adoption plays a role in Haiti's ongoing recovery. [Thanks, again, to Julie's sister-in-law for passing this along.] You can watch the clip by clicking on the picture below:

Part of the story talks about the director of Health and Human Services, also known as the IBESR. From our understanding there is going to be a meeting between the relatively new IBESR director and the various creches (what we often call orphanages, although that is not entirely accurate). It sounds like part of the agenda is to discuss the typical timeline of adoption proceedings.

We are hopeful that we'll hear next week when our first trip will be. We will definitely post an update when have specific dates.

That's Just The Way It Is...Some Things Will Never Change?

2012-01-11T21:00:00.000-05:00

All three of us were out running some errands tonight. While we were in one of the stores I heard an old familiar song by Bruce Hornsby: "That's Just the Way It Is". I've known the words to the song for quite awhile, but one of the verses meant something a little different to me as I listened to them in light of our ongoing adoption experiences:

They say hey little boy you can't go where the others go
'Cause you don't look like they do
Said hey old man how can you stand to think that way
Did you really think about it before you made the rules, he said, son

That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
But don't you believe them

Well they passed a law in '64
To give those who ain't got a little more
But it only goes so far because the law don't change another's mind
When all it sees at the hiring time is the line on the color bar

That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
That's just the way it is

Julie and I both grew up in southwestern Pennsylvania which, in case you've never visited, is not the most diverse area in the state, let alone the country. So, we're used to dealing with the narrow thinking that often comes from living in a mostly light-skinned area. We now live in Erie, Pennsylvania, which is more diverse than where we grew up but still lacks wide-spread diversity. As much as some people want to believe racism is gone from our country, I have witnessed enough to know that it is very much a part of our culture.

I don't have the answers to these questions, but thinking about the lyrics to the song I heard this evening makes me wonder

will our kids be told they can't go somewhere because they look different?
will someone we've known for a long time surprise us with a lack of acceptance of a child from Haiti?
will Zoe be treated differently because she has a brother and sister who looks different from her?
will our children be welcome in all the churches that we visit?

There are so many more questions that come to mind but this is a start. We've sat in on workshops exploring the racial implications of international adoption but there are so many things we won't know for certain until we experience this for ourselves.

That's just the way it is....some things will never change. We pray that these words aren't true.

The Biblical Foundations of Adoption

2012-01-10T21:17:00.000-05:00

Before Christmas I posted several thoughts about how the story of Christmas can intersect with our adoption story. You can go directly to those posts by clicking on the links below:

The Challenge of Any Parent

Waiting

Joseph's Family Tree

One of the things I enjoy about being a professor is that I get to read and research many ideas that aren't always of interest to many other people. A few years ago when I was telling my sister about a book project I was working on she looked at me and asked "who's going to read this if it gets published?" She's a smart person but just isn't interested in some of the background items. Unfortunately, I can find some of those background items fascinating. So, what does this have to do with our adoption and this blog?

Over the past week I've been reading a book by Trevor Burke entitled Adopted into God's Family. For those of you who are interested in some of the background items about adoption, such as how the practice of adoption in the first century Roman culture influenced the Apostle Paul's writings about adoption, this book may be of interest. But, for those who aren't really interested in the background information, I want to provide a few specific places where you can read more about adoption in the New Testament. One of the pieces of feedback we've received from a few who have read our blog is that they have never really considered the connection between the human act of adoption and what the Bible has to say about our spiritual adoption.

In the New International Version (NIV) there are four specific passages in the New Testament that explore adoption:

Ephesians 1:4-5

Galatians 4:4-6

Romans 8:15, 22-23

Romans 9:4

There is a great organization called Together for Adoption that is working to help Christians connect a biblical understanding of adoption with the practice of adoption. Through organizations like this, there is a growing awareness that part of our calling as Christians is to serve the orphans of the world through adoption. It's been amazing to see how God has opened some doors for us to share our adoption story with others. Perhaps in a small way we can also help others see how adoption is a way to better understand our relationship with God. What a wonderful thing when our daily lives are interrupted by the teachings of the Bible!

Adopting from HAITI

2012-01-06T21:22:00.001-05:00

The name of this blog is Adopting from Haiti but most of my posts have been about Adopting and not as much about from Haiti. So, one of my goals later this month is to begin writing more about Haiti. But, since we've not yet been to the country all of our knowledge has to come from talking to those who have visited or reading what others have written about their experiences. As I write those posts I'll include some references for those who want to learn more about what we may experience.

One of the major news sources that I read almost daily is the USA Today. As I recall, my dad was one of the first to purchase the paper when it began publication in the 1980s. One of the first things I would do after I got off the bus from school was sit down with the paper and either pull out the purple Life section or the red Sports section. While he stopped his subscription several years ago I still check the headlines almost daily and usually take a few minutes to read some of the stories while eating my lunch in my office. Anyway, as I checked the headlines this evening the cover story was an exploration of the cholera crisis in Haiti. A year ago I would have looked at that headline and clicked on something else. But tonight, we took the time to read it and try to digest the amount of devastation a preventable disease has caused in that country. As we followed the links embedded in that story we also came across a few other relevant articles.

Here are the links if you would like to know more:

Cholera cripples Haiti, two years after quake

New Haiti cholera campaign faces tough questions

Post-earthquake assistance in Haiti shifts to reconstruction

One of my other goals is to see this blog become a forum for discussion about adoption, orphan care, and ways to make an impact in Haiti. If you have any additional resources or article links feel free to post them in the comments section. Our semester is beginning on Monday and one of the major points I stress with my public speaking students is that an audience can't do something about a topic if they don't know it exists. As I've written before, this is God's story and we're hopeful that he will use it to mobilize others respond to these growing needs.

We Have an Update About Our Children!

2012-01-05T21:10:00.002-05:00

One of the times that Julie posted a link to our fundraiser on her Facebook page someone misinterpreted the post and thought we had the children with us now. I offer that as a disclaimer as you read this next sentence (in other words we still don't have the children with us). Pending bureaucratic approval, we are now the parents of a five, three, and one year old. By far one of the most difficult things we've experienced in our adoption journey is celebrating birthdays over 1600 miles away from our children. In addition to this wonderful news we found out that both children are doing great.

I guess the title of this post is partly misleading since that's about as much of an update as I'm going to write for you. If you've read many blogs you've probably noticed that there are many different opinions about what is appropriate to share online about children. When I write about myself or Julie it's one thing. When I begin to write about Zoe it's something else entirely. There's something very unsettling about being able to type a five-year old's name into Google and see several hits. Most are from this blog and one is from an obituary of Julie's grandmother. But, I see Zoe everyday and know that I am only sharing a fraction of what she says and does in a day.

There are a few reasons why I don't write much about our children in Haiti. To be entirely honest, I think some of the reason is selfish. Julie and I have never met them. We have never heard the sound of their laugh nor the glimmer in their eyes when someone says their name. I'm not ready for the rest of the world to know as much about our children as we do. So, when we receive a few paragraphs of an update by email (with no pictures), I condense it into something like we found out that both children are doing great. It's not that we don't want you to know more details. But, as their parents, there are some things that are ours to cherish while we wait. I go back and forth between being offended and being impressed by those who write so much about children they've never met. On the positive side, they are so excited about any updates they receive they seem to want to pass along all the information. On the other hand, there's something about keeping the identity of their children private. (In case you haven't heard, the internet is not the most intimate environment to share secrets.)

Another reason that I don't write much about any of our children is connected to this idea of a child's identity. I'm not sure our culture has fully grasped what is happening to the identity of children who have their entire life written about on Facebook or a blog. Yes, I am an over-protective father when it comes to information about my children. But, as an academic I've also studied and written about issues related to identity and so this isn't just a in my opinion sort of rant. I've thought a great deal about what will happen to this blog when our adoption is complete. But, one thing that it will not become is an online journal chronicling our children. It's tough enough to form a positive self-image in our society today. The last thing most children need is to have their image created online by an over-eager parent. Yes, this is my viewpoint and you are entitled to disagree.

There are many things that you may read here and not agree with. But, tonight, I think it's safe to say if you've read this far that you are definitely in agreement that it's good to be one day closer to bringing our children home.

A Different Perspective

2012-01-04T20:51:00.000-05:00

Julie's sister-in-law passed along a name the other day that is worth sharing here: Jen Hatmaker. [Just a note: many of the ideas that I write about come from things we've read or things people have said to us. But, since Julie's sister-in-law reads this blog I probably should give her credit for sharing that name.] It looks like the books Jen Hatmaker has written are quite interesting but the relevant point for this post is that she and her husband have adopted two children from Ethiopia. Yes, Ethiopia is a very different county than Haiti, but there are some common experiences across all international adoptions regardless of the country you adopt from. She regularly posts to a blog that is part of her website and while not all of her posts are about adoption, if you click here you can read a wonderful post that sums up much of what we're learning in our adoption experience. Not everything will apply to our adoption, but she brings a different perspective that is worth reading. So, in case you missed it the first time, click here to go to her blog post.

Also, I'm not sure if this is a diagnosed problem but I have a minor case of comment-envy. I noticed that she has 196 comments in response to that post. So, my only other request is that if you find something about her post enlightening you can come back to our blog and add a comment here!

A Little Adoption Blog Talk [December 2011]

2011-12-31T19:43:00.001-05:00

There are many reasons why someone may be reading this blog. Some readers are family members or friends who want to find out the latest about our adoption journey. Others may stumbled upon our blog while looking for specific information about adopting from Haiti. Or, perhaps someone is writing their own adoption blog and they are interested in how others use this format to share stories and resources about adopting. Since most of our posts are written for the first two groups, today I am going to write a few items for those of you who may be interested in the process of blogging and wonder how our blog compares to others.

The best place to start is to share the five most-read posts for the month of December 2011:

1) Us Plus Two

Originally Posted 11/19/11

2) Us Plus Two...Only Two Days to Go!

Originally Posted 12/7/11

3) The Cost of Our Adoption

Originally Posted 11/18/11

4) Thank You!!

Originally Posted 12/10/11

5) Plus Two

Originally Posted 12/21/11

Here are a few other random statistics from our blog for the month of December:

We received just over 15,700 total hits on our site.
The top three sites that directed viewers to our site are:

The top three items that people searched for on Google and ended up reading our blog included

Here are a few observations about the posts this past month:

Three of our top five posts (# 1, # 2, # 4 above) were directly connected to our fundraiser. The hits for these three posts were much higher since Julie shared a link to each on her Facebook page. Since this was a one-time event it will be interesting to see what people read over the next month.

You may have noticed the two pictures that you can click to find more information. A second interesting item is that there have been about three times more people click on Plus Two than on About Us. Our readers are clearly much more interested in learning about the two children we are adopting than about us. If this blog was about Julie and I we would be deeply insulted. But, we understand this isn't a story about us, but about our children. So, keep ignoring us and read about our children! Honestly, that will make us very happy.

Finally, and this is probably obvious to those who have written on blogs for a long time, the best way to generate new readers is to add new content. My initial goal was to post one item each evening. For the first few weeks I was able to keep up this pace. But, as the semester drew to a close and we juggled various obligations during the Thanksgiving and Christmas season I haven't been posting each night. While I am not promising to post each evening, I will be doing my best to keep you updated about our own adoption journey while sharing new books and resources that we have encountered.

You are always invited to post comments or email any questions that you have. If you are interested in reading about a certain topic please let me know and I'll post what I can.

2011 was quite an exciting year in the Sleasman household. We can hardly wait for 2012, or, more to the point of this blog, 2012: The year we bring our children home.

Happy New Year!

To view the update from November 2011, click here.

Christmas & Adoption (aka The Challenge of Any Parent)

2011-12-27T11:32:00.000-05:00

A statement was made during the sermons at both our Christmas Eve and Christmas morning worship services that has kept coming to mind over the past few days. The pastor alluded to what it was like to be Mary and learn that you are going to be the mother of the Messiah that people have been waiting over 400 years to arrive. On one hand it was an incredible gift - of course she could have asked "why me?" in a way that suggested she didn't feel worthy of the opportunity. On the other hand, she could have asked "why me?" in a way that suggested she didn't want the incredible burden or to be bothered with such a chore. Instead, she chose a third path and basically said "I'll do what You, God, are calling me to do." Mary's task was to help this infant reach adulthood safely, so He could fulfill God's purpose for His life.

In many ways I believe our task as adoptive parents is similar. Of course, our story starts in a manner very different from Mary's. An angel didn't arrive and tell us to adopt, although we do believe we are called to this. These children are an incredible gift, and much like Mary, our task is to help them reach adulthood, where they can fulfill God's purpose for their lives.

But, as I considered this in relation to adoption, I began to wonder if this task is really any different for how we parent Zoe, our biological daughter. All children are gifts, regardless of how we came to be their parents. Our task, as their parents, is to help them fulfill God's purpose for their lives (which doesn't have to wait until they reach adulthood). As far as the point I am making here, there is no difference between children who are adopted into a family or children who are born biologically into a family.

Often, it seems as though there is an unspoken divide between parents of biological children and parents of adoptive children. At times both groups are guilty of thinking the other side can't fully understand what it's like to be the other. Yes, there are obvious differences between the two. But, there is clearly more that we share in common than we may consider.

Regardless of how our children arrive(d) in our lives, we are called to help them fulfill God's purpose for their lives.

As I write one more time about Christmas, let the many lessons of this season guide us as we seek to follow God's leading in our lives.

Christmas & Adoption (aka Waiting...)

2011-12-23T21:20:00.000-05:00

Well over 400 years passed between the writing of the final Old Testament book (Malachi) and the birth of Jesus Christ. As we get closer to Christmas Day, one major word keeps coming to mind as I think about this gap in time...waiting. I can't imagine what it was like for those who were familiar with all of the Old Testament prophecies predicting a coming Messiah and for over 400 years, they heard nothing.

During this time of year, it always seems like we hear someone talking about how Mary was "greatly troubled" at the words of the angel telling her she was to give birth to the Messiah (Luke 1:29). Or, how Joseph was going to divorce Mary because she was pregnant and he knew that there was no way the baby was his child (Matthew 1:19). Even after the birth and ministry of Jesus, John the Baptist sent his own followers to Jesus to find out if Jesus was the "one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" (Matthew 11:3).

How would I respond to these events if my people had waited generations for something that we were promised, yet had never received?

Why am I thinking about this? We received our official referral on September 16, 2011, informing us that we officially have two children waiting for us in Haiti. While I am not exactly equating the IBESR approval process with the 400 year wait between the Old and New Testaments, anyone who has gone through the process will probably see the connection. It's been over three months and we wait. While we do receive the occasional picture and surprises in the mail we basically know nothing about the day to day life of our children.

It was a major adjustment for us, especially Julie, when Zoe went to kindergarten. Because Julie was able to stay home with Zoe she knew what she was doing 24 hours of the day. Now, between the time she gets on the bus in the morning and she gets off it after school we are at the mercy of a five year old's memory to find out what happened during the day. Yes, Zoe is wonderful at keeping us informed. But, this has definitely been an adjustment. Still, we know where she is and have been to her classroom (today we volunteered for her Christmas party) so we can visualize the events she shares with us. We know the faces and names of the children she talks about. But, with our children in Haiti, we are at the mercy of occasional updates informing us of only the most significant items in the children's lives.

Please don't get me wrong, we LOVE how Children of the Promise is caring for our two children. In fact, we are trying to get others to adopt from there as well. But, we're tired of waiting. And, when compared to what we know about Zoe, we feel like we know nothing.

Sunday morning, December 25, we will be in our worship service celebrating that Jesus has come and the wait is over. Come mid to late February we will make our first trip to Haiti and see where our children are living so we can visualize how they spend their days. And then, we pray that our paperwork is approved quickly so that we can bring them home where they belong. I'm sure there's another lesson here about how God is waiting for the end of time so he can spend eternity with all of those who call him Father - but I can write about that another day.

Tonight, I can greatly identify with those Israelites who felt that the wait would never end. Tonight our 3+ month wait seems much like the 400+ year gap. I know, this is very short-sighted. But, if you've read this far, go easy on Joseph or John the Baptist the next time you wonder why they couldn't see the big picture the first time.

Tonight, we're waiting...

Why We Love Children of the Promise (Part Two)

2011-12-22T21:15:00.001-05:00

We received the following items in today's mail.

We can see that his artistic style is very consistent with his big sister - they will get along great!

We have been really impressed with Children of the Promise. As you read this if you are interested in more information about adopting from COTP, you can follow this link and learn how you can bring home your own beautiful boy!

If you would like to see the pictures we received at Thanksgiving, click here.

Embrace: The Church Reclaiming the Care of Orphans and Waiting Children

2011-12-21T21:34:00.000-05:00

Julie found a great site today for Embrace Ministry out of Texas. There are so many great resources available but what makes this organization unique is that the family of one of the women on the leadership team is adopting through both A Love Beyond Borders and Children of the Promise. Part of the goal of this blog is to make connections with like-minded families and organizations. Therefore, this post is intended to make you aware of a an organization that could serve as a great model for developing an organization aimed at raising orphan awareness. The following video helps to broaden the ways that many think about orphan care.

Hero from Embrace Ministry on Vimeo.

Plus Two

2011-12-21T21:00:00.005-05:00

We are in the process of adopting two children from Haiti - a boy born in October 2008 and his younger sister born in January 2011.

We have made an intentional choice to not share much information about the two children we are adopting. [To read more about why we don't post lengthy details about our children click here.] Beyond their pictures, most of what you'll read on this blog explores the various aspects of orphan care we've experienced, including the process we're going through in order to adopt these two siblings. So, in light of that information, here is how we've arrived at this point:

Our Home Study Agency: Adoption By Choice

Our International Adoption Agency: A Love Beyond Borders

Where Our Children Are Living: Children of the Promise

Honestly, our goal is not just to inform you about our children. Our goal is also to inspire others to choose to follow a similar path.

To learn more about our children click Why Haiti? (Part One) or Why Haiti? (Part Two).

About Us

2011-12-21T20:49:00.002-05:00

We are currently a household of three - Brent, Julie and Zoe Sleasman. Read below for more information about us, or click here to read some of the frequently asked questions about our adoption.

Brent is currently an Assistant Professor in the Department of Theatre, Communication and Fine Arts at Gannon University. He has a BA in Speech from the University of Findlay, a Master of Divinity degree from Winebrenner Theological Seminary, and a Ph.D. in Rhetoric from Duquesne University. He has just completed his first book, Albert Camus's Philosophy of Communication: Making Sense in an Age of Absurdity. In addition to his academic credentials he has also served as a pastor within the Allegheny Region, Churches of God General Conference. You can contact him at sleasman001@gannon.edu.

Julie is currently a stay-at-home mom and is awaiting the adventures that our two new children will bring into our home. Prior to Zoe's birth, she graduated from the University of Findlay with a BS in Elementary Education and a Master of Education in Special Education from Duquesne University. She taught full-time in the Upper Sandusky Exempted Village School District as well as worked at Carnegie Mellon University as part of a grant-funded research project. You can contact her at jasleasman@aol.com.

Zoe is incredibly excited to become a big sister! She is currently in kindergarten and loves to read, sing, and use her active imagination.

Orphan Care & Adoption: A Human Sign of a Spiritual Reality

2011-12-19T20:49:00.002-05:00

This is a draft of an article that should be appearing in an upcoming issue of a denominational magazine for the Churches of God, General Conference:

When you hear the word “adoption” what other words or images come to mind? If you are like most people, the first thing that comes to mind is probably something associated with human adoption. What would happen if the first thing we (as Christians) thought of when we heard the word adoption was our spiritual adoption? Could it be that God allows humans to adopt children in order to serve as a physical sign of a spiritual truth? If so, then adoption may be written on the hearts of everyone, believer and non-believer. But I am getting ahead of myself.

You may be wondering why you are reading an article about adoption in a denominational magazine and, even more so, why I am writing one. There are two specific reasons why I am writing this article: first, when God gives you a story to tell, you tell it. Since June 2011 our family (including my wife, Julie, and daughter, Zoe) has been actively working toward the adoption of two children from Haiti. There have been so many aspects of this story that are beyond explanation that it can only make sense as God’s story for us; we’re just the main characters in His story. The second reason I am writing this article is that as we’ve shared our story one of the most surprising reactions is the blank look we get in return from those who are active within the church. So, tying these two reasons together leads me to the conclusion that God has given us this story to tell, in part, to help raise awareness within the church about the role Christians should have in the care and adoption of orphans.

The first seeds of our adoption journey were planted over ten years ago. In 2001 Julie and I were part of a church plant through the Allegheny Region. As part of our first phase of team-building I led a study called Network which was designed to help participants identify the various ways in which God designed him or her to serve most effectively within the life of the church. This was the first time that both Julie and I went through this study and we were especially confused by her results. After completing a series of questions and working through the study guides, Julie's conclusions were that she had a heart for children, specifically those who were in great need. By this point in time Zoe wasn't born yet but Julie had completed an elementary education degree and taught full-time in a public school system in Upper Sandusky, Ohio, so caring for children was something that seemed very natural. But the part about focusing on children in great need wasn't really helpful as far as getting involved in the life of the church. Questions like are we supposed to start a specific ministry focused on children in need? were part of our ongoing conversations. As the lead pastor of the church plant one of my jobs was to help the participants sort through what direction the study was leading them. As her husband and her pastor I was really no help to Julie when it came to sorting through the meaning of all of this. We’ve learned that life often makes much more sense in hindsight. Jumping ahead…On June 19, 2011, our lives were interrupted when our focus was redirected to adopting from Haiti.

What does any of this have to do with your life, or more specifically, with your church? First, I believe that the church is well-positioned to respond to the orphan crisis both in the United States and around the world. By some estimates (most notably UNICEF in 2010) there are approximately 163 million orphans around the world. [Note: since there are nuances in the definition of orphan this does not mean that all of these children are in need of adoptive parents.] The local church is one of the few institutions that can provide healthy support networks for those who want to pursue orphan care - this could be in the form of foster care, domestic or international adoption, mission trips to assist orphanages, orphan hosting, and many other opportunities.

Second, the church should engage in orphan care because the Bible tells us to. For example, James 1:27, states “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” Psalm 68:5 refers to God as a “Father to the fatherless.” The Apostle Paul writes about our spiritual adoption throughout Romans, most notably in Romans 8:12-30. Since God does not have biological children then the only way we, as believers, can be children are through some form of adoption. The Bible talks repeatedly about how those who obey God are considered his children (for example John 1:12-13). Those who believe in God are considered adopted children and those who have not yet believed possess the ability to be adopted by God. Therefore, everyone has the capacity to be adopted by God.

Our goal is to help others within the CGGC make the connection between what we're doing, and others who are adopting, and what the church is commanded to do. Our goal is to continue in our own journey of adoption and bring others along as well.

Will you join us?

If my interpretations of scripture are accurate, here are some possible implications for the Church:

Pastors should preach on adoption and actually use that word when discussing our relationship with God. Families should consider adopting orphans as a physical sign of a spiritual truth.
Find those in your church who have adopted children, served as foster parents, or have engaged in some form of orphan care. Ask them about their stories. Give them a platform to tell their stories. But, most importantly, listen to their stories and see what God stirs in your own heart.
Orphan care and Adoption ministries should be central to a church's ministry. James 1:27 sets the bar very high for care for orphans and widows. But it's not just about caring for orphans. It's also about adopting orphans. Christians should consider the biblical and theological theme of adoption as it relates to their own faith.
Join the conversation at our blog: adoptingfromhaiti.blogspot.com. I post new entries several times a week that includes adoption resources and ways to engage in orphan care from a Christian perspective.
Invite someone to speak to your church or Sunday School class about an orphan care ministry.
If you can only read one book on orphan care, read Orphanology by Tony Merida and Rick Morton
Contact me (sleasman001@gannon.edu) and I’ll be happy to help you share your story about orphan care or get you connected with someone who can share their story with you.

I understand that I am biased, but I would challenge someone to find something that is more fundamental to our Christian faith than the adoptive relationship between God and His children.

If human adoption is a sign of such a fundamental spiritual truth shouldn't it be front and center in every Christian church?

The Already/Not Yet-ness of Our Adoption

2011-12-18T21:27:00.000-05:00

As I think about our growing relationship with our children, I am reminded of the words "already/not yet":

Our hearts already break for these two children in ways we can't express, but we have not yet seen them face to face.

Zoe already prays for her brother and sister every night, but she has not yet met them.

They are already part of our family, but are not yet with us.

Our lives have already been changed forever, but we have not yet met in person.

We already feel a great connection with Haiti, but we have not yet been in the country.

Depending upon your church experience, the notion of the "already/not yet" may be something you've encountered before. Typically it's used to express a central concept of Christianity - we are already part of God's family but we have not yet fully experienced his love and grace (that will not happen this side of heaven). Many times it's connected to the Sermon on the Mount in which Jesus provides insights in the coming (the not yet) Kingdom of God that he expects we live out in our daily lives (the already).

As I ponder this idea, it's just another reminder to me that adoption is an earthly example of a heavenly reality.

Christmas & Adoption (aka Joseph's Family Tree)

2011-12-16T22:18:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe that Christmas is just over a week away. As our family listens to the Christmas carols, gives and receives gifts, and talk about the true importance of Christmas I keep thinking about one particular part of the Christmas story: Joseph's family tree. I'm guessing that topic isn't a real priority in most churches around this time. Most of the focus (and for good reason) is centered on Mary and Joseph placing baby Jesus in the manger, the angel's announcement, or the visit by the shepherds. There are so many implications for adoption in this story and yet I've never heard a sermon, or any teaching, that addresses this topic. I've been involved in the church in various capacities for my entire life so I feel confident saying that this is a trend among many, if not most, churches.

Why should we consider Joseph's family tree during Christmas? If you do a quick Google search on the topic you will find many people spend an enormous amount of time trying to explain how Jesus is biologically related to David, the Old Testament King of Israel. But, in the first chapter of Matthew, the first book of the New Testament, it's the lineage of Joseph that is traced back to David. Joseph is not the biological father of Jesus, but his adoptive earthly father. When viewing this story in the context of other New Testament passages that suggest that those who believe in God are His adopted children, there's no need to justify that Jesus was biologically related to King David.

Adoption isn't just when an individual or couple takes a child into their family. Adoption is also a spiritual reality that allows believers to be part of the family of God. Therefore, the fact that Joseph is not the biological father of Jesus is not an issue. Joseph was just as much the father of Jesus as Mary was his mother. Because Jesus was of the line of David he was able to fulfill the Old Testament prophecies about the coming Messiah.

So, the next time you read the Christmas story, don't just focus on Luke's version (the most familiar) but take a few moments to read through Matthew 1. Adoption is an earthly sign of a spiritual truth.

Our First Trip to Haiti

2011-12-14T21:05:00.000-05:00

We spoke with our agency yesterday about our timeline for travel. Since the transition of the leadership of the IBESR the adoption paperwork is moving more slowly than anyone would prefer. So, it looks like we'll be making our first trip to Haiti sometime after the middle of February 2012. During this trip we will be flying into Port-au-Prince to complete some paperwork, then fly to Children of the Promise in Cap Haitien to meet the children and take a few pictures, then return to Port-au-Prince the next morning, and then return home. The entire trip will only last about three days but is a necessary step to complete the process.

We'll keep you updated as we finalize our plans.

Frequently Asked Questions: Adoption Fundraising

2011-12-14T20:09:00.009-05:00

One of the unfortunate realities for those considering adoption is the expense of the entire process. A goal for this blog is to provide resources that will assist those who are going through various stages of the adoption process. Therefore, I've added a new label ("Adoption Fundraising Resources") that serves as an index for posts related to our fundraising experience. You can find more information by clicking on that label or by following these links:

What are the costs of our adoption?
Click here for answer.

Why did we choose to have a fundraiser event before Christmas?
Click here for answer.

What were the results of our first adoption fundraiser?
Click here for answer.

What are some ways to financially support our adoption?
Click here for answer.

Everyone's fundraising experiences are different. This just represents one possible way to approach that part of the adoption process.

What's So Compelling About Adoption?

2011-12-13T21:33:00.002-05:00

Bear with me as I get to the adoption connection...

Julie and I are both graduates of The University of Findlay (UF). I graduated in December 1996 with a BA in Speech and Julie graduated in December 1999 with a BS in Elementary Education. Today she and I met with a Special Assistant to the President at UF as part of a special project in which they are interviewing alumni who represent various parts of that school's mission. In preparation of the meeting we were asked to send our résumé in addition to a having a few email conversations to clarify some items about our background.

We've never been featured in something like this so we had no idea what to expect before our meeting. If I had any expectations I guess I was anticipating questions for Julie about her experiences teaching or working at Carnegie Mellon University and I was waiting for questions about my academic presentations or publications. Boy, was I wrong! We never talked about Julie's work experience at Carnegie Mellon or in the public schools. He never inquired about my academic work, especially about my presentations or writing.

After going over a general biography, the conversation focused on three main items: our family, our church involvement and, you guessed it, our adoption. Since we have several family members who also attended the school that item makes good sense. And since The University of Findlay has historical ties to the Churches of God, General Conference that topic makes sense as well. Adoption, on the other hand, doesn't fit quite as clearly.

Now, if I wanted to be cynical I could suggest that the reason he wanted to focus upon this is that our adoption makes for a good story - and good stories help academic institutions make money. There may be an element of truth to this point. But, based upon our entire conversation, I think it's safe to assume that more is happening than just finding a good angle for fundraising.

So, getting to the title of this post, what is it that makes adoption such a compelling story? Three specific things come to mind as I think about that question: the responses we receive when we tell people our adoption story, the various Bible verses that explore the topic of adoption and orphan care, and my own growing awareness and understanding of orphan care. Today is just the latest in a long line of conversations that are making me wonder if we, as human beings, are created to have an unspoken (and often unrecognized) sensitivity to adoption issues. I'm still thinking this one through so it may not be the clearest to you as you read, but here is my best effort at this point to express this feeling in words...

The Bible talks repeatedly about how those who obey God are considered his children (for example John 1:12-13). Since God does not have biological children then the only way we, as believers, can be children are through some form of adoption (Romans 8:12-30). Those who believe in God are considered adopted children and those who have not yet believed possess the ability to be adopted by God. Therefore, everyone has the capacity to be adopted by God.

So often when people hear the word adoption they immediately think of human adoption. But what would happen if the first thing we (as Christians) thought of when we heard adoption was our spiritual adoption? Could it be that God allows humans to adopt to serve as a physical sign and reminder of a spiritual truth? If so, then adoption is written on the hearts of everyone, believer and non-believer.

If my speculations are accurate, here are some possible implications for the Church:

Adoption ministries should be central to a church's ministry. James 1:27 sets the bar very high for care for orphans and widows. But it's not just about caring for orphans. It's also about adopting orphans.
Christians should consider the biblical and theological theme of adoption as it relates to their own faith
Pastors should preach on adoption and actually use that word when discussing our relationship with God
Families should consider adopting orphans as a physical sign of a spiritual truth

In our conversations church leaders, our own included, I have been told that adoption is only one of many important ministries within a church. I understand that I am biased, but I would challenge someone to find something that is more fundamental to our Christian faith than the adoptive relationship between God and His children.

If human adoption is a sign of such a fundamental spiritual truth shouldn't it be front and center in every Christian church?

Thank You!!

2011-12-10T12:19:00.001-05:00

We had a wonderful time at our fundraiser event last night. I feel like we just won an award and have a list of friends and family to thank. So, here we go...

Thanks to all who attended last night. Someone told us last night that there are two children in Haiti who have no idea that there are almost 100 people investing in their lives. It's a little overwhelming to know so many people chose to be part of this adoption story. Thanks, also, for those who couldn't attend but sent notes of encouragement offering good wishes and prayer support. And for those who couldn't attend and took the time to send us a financial gift, thank you for thinking about us during this part of our journey.

A special thank you goes to Chick-fil-A, and specifically owner Bryan Auton, for donating the food for our event. I talked to someone last night who said a family member doesn't like chicken but they love Chick-fil-A. This was a wonderful addition to an evening for children that included programs by Betsy & Friends and Captain Bill. Also, I want to say thanks to the those businesses and individuals who donated items that were used in our raffle:

Milestones Quality Children's Consignment
Lena Salon & Spa
Sanders Chiropractic Care
Eat'n Park
Family Video
Christie Family Chiropractic
Double LL Gifts
Out of the Grey Coffee House
Premier Day Spa & Salon
Westway Lan
Donna Myers

We greatly appreciate the time given by Karyn Puller from Delicate Fortress Creations. This was a wonderful addition to the evening and provided an opportunity for people to learn about a great organization and do some Christmas shopping! Also, the conversation with Karyn and her husband, Justin, was an encouragement as we talked about our shared heart for adoption and Haiti. Thank you.

Thank you to all who invested their time to make this event a success. Specifically, we want to thank Stephanie Sledzianowski for coming to us several months ago with an offer to help us raise funds for our adoption expenses. She has made multiple phone calls, driven to random locations to ask for donations and hang flyers, and has thought about this event more than anyone else. Thank you for your support and friendship.

Thank you to Grace Church for donating the space for the event and specifically to Jess Burkell for assisting with running the sound.

Now, for those who like numbers.

Including the checks sent by mail and given through the church, we raised approximately $1500.00. As best we understand, this should be enough to cover the expenses of our first required trip to Haiti. Thank you.

By our best estimate, there were 92 people present.

And finally...

Just like we view our costs of adoption in more ways than just the financial costs, we also view the benefits of last night in more ways than the money that was raised. Some wonderful things happened last night in addition to the money we raised including conversations:

offering to watch Zoe
offering to assist with the unique hair and skin needs of the children from Haiti
offering suggestions for flights and travel
with others who are interested in adopting other children from Haiti
with Karyn and Justin Puller, from Delicate Fortress Creations, allowing us to make a better connection with their business that is is focused on fighting human trafficking, poverty and exploitation

Thank you. We had no idea of what to expect as we arrived at the church last night. We know that God has brought some wonderful people into our lives throughout this process. We'll keep you updated as we move forward.

So, as the topics on this blog move away from issues related to fundraising, we want to say thank you one last time.

Us Plus Two...Only One Day to Go!

2011-12-08T23:01:00.001-05:00

After tomorrow I'll be writing more about our adoption journey; but for the past few days our fundraiser has received most of our attention. We hope to see you there! Click here for more information.

Us Plus Two...Only Two Days to Go!

2011-12-07T22:37:00.001-05:00

In less than 48 hours we will be joining many friends and supporters at our Us Plus Two fundraiser. We've been blown away by the generosity of local businesses, friends and family members, and those who have given so much time to this event. Since many are finding us for the first time through Facebook, WCTL, and local event calendars, here are a few links to other posts on this blog that may be of interest:

Why are we having an adoption fundraiser?

What's going on at the fundraising event?

What are some of the costs of our adoption?

What if you can't attend our adoption fundraiser but would still like to support us?

What if you're not a child - is there something for you at our event? (Yes!)

What if you have general questions about our adoption?

You can click here to RSVP on the public Facebook event page if you have a Facebook account. If not, you click here to email your RSVP. But, you are invited even if you do not RSVP. In other words, it's more important to us that you come than that we know you are coming.

Many Things Make Better Sense in Hindsight...

2011-12-05T21:52:00.000-05:00

I've written a few times about how we first got started with our adoption journey (follow the Our Adoption Beginnings labels to read more about this part of our story). One of the fascinating parts for me is how the last six months have brought various experiences from the past decade into clearer focus for both Julie and I. Many of these experiences were challenges at the time we were going through them but now they make much more sense. I want to share a few of these "it's starting to make sense now" moments.

Before getting into the specifics it may be helpful for you to know a little more about some of my academic training. After I graduated from the University of Findlay I attended Winebrenner Theological Seminary, both of which are in Findlay, Ohio. I graduated with a Master of Divinity degree and worked as a youth pastor from 1999 - 2001 at West Independence United Methodist Church in Fostoria, Ohio. During the summer of 2001 we moved to the east suburbs of Pittsburgh (specifically in Plum Borough, Allegheny County) as part of a new church development project. Now that you know the context, I can share one of our experiences that really didn't make sense at the time we were going through it.

As part of the church plant I led a study called Network which was designed to help the participants identify the various ways in which God designed him or her to serve most effectively within the life of the church. This was the first time that either Julie or I went through this study and we were really confused by her results. After completing a series of questions and working through the study guides, Julie's conclusions were that she had a heart for children, specifically those who were in great need. By this point in time Zoe wasn't born yet but Julie had completed an elementary education degree and taught full-time in a public school system in Upper Sandusky, Ohio, so caring for children was something that seemed very natural. But the part about focusing on children in great need wasn't really helpful as far as getting involved in the life of the church. Questions like were we supposed to start a specific ministry focused on children in need? were part of our ongoing conversations. As the lead pastor of the church plant one of my jobs was to help the participants sort through what direction the study was leading them. As her husband and her pastor I was really no help to Julie when it came to sorting through the meaning of all of this. So, we waited...

For a variety of reasons the church plant project was closed down after a year and Julie went to work at Carnegie Mellon University as part of a grant funded research project and I enrolled at Duquesne University to complete my Ph.D. in Rhetoric. Julie was also to complete her Masters Degree in Special Education from Duquesne University as well during this time. None of our experiences during this time helped make any more sense of what we found during our initial Network sessions.

In the summer of 2005 I accepted a pastoral position at a small church in Beaver County while I completed my dissertation. Julie continued to work at Carnegie Mellon University until Zoe was born in early 2006. During our two years at this church I also led the Network series again. Julie's conclusions were similar. My inability to help make sense of them was the same. Again, we waited...

In the fall of 2007 we made the leap into higher education and I accepted my first full-time teaching position at West Chester University in Chester County, PA (in the Greater Philadelphia area). This position was only on a year to year contract so in the fall of 2008 I accepted my current position at Gannon University. I'm sharing all of these transitions as an indication that even though many things changed, one constant was our inability to shake this feeling that Julie first discovered in 2001: we are designed by God to care for children in need.

For those of you following this blog you know how the story goes from there. If you are new, you can follow the "Our Adoption Beginnings" label to make better sense of our story.

So, to tie this together, here are a few things we've learned over the past ten years:

What we perceive as God taking his good old time, is often God allowing us to catch up to His plan for us. We were not ready to adopt ten years ago. God planted this seed in our lives many years ago and it is now growing into a beautiful story of His patience with His creation.

What we perceive as heartache, God can redeem for His purposes. We had grand plans for the way God would use us in the two churches we've led after moving to Pennsylvania. While there are positive memories from both places, neither ministry fulfilled even our most modest expectations.

God's plan often makes sense in the most unexpected times and places. If you would have told us ten years ago after our first Network experience that "in ten years you will have a beautiful five year old daughter and you will be adopting two children from Haiti..." we both would have stared at you with a very confused look on our faces (although Julie suggests I look confused quite often...).

Our most effective ministry in the church has come by my not serving as a pastor. There's definitely not a seminary class that instructs pastor to be effective by not being pastors. But the more I talk with other people about their interest in adoption, the more I am convinced that we have much in common with the Old Testament character Esther who was challenged to embrace the fact that God designed her for "such a time as this" (Esther 4:14).

I have no idea what our future holds. But our journey offers us comfort that we serve a God who knows how our story ends. May you find comfort in knowing that as well.

A Primer on Adoption

2011-12-04T22:00:00.000-05:00

When others have asked us about the cost of our adoption or have hinted at wondering why we're having a fundraiser, we've noticed that part of the questioning comes from the many ways that people think about adoption. If I asked ten different people what they think I mean when I say "adoption" I would receive at least ten different answers. Adoption is one of those words that is well-known to many people but is used in so many different ways that it sometimes becomes difficult to know what a person means when he or she uses the term. So, based upon what we're learning as we move through our own adoption journey, I want to share some insights about how people use the word adoption. I'll focus on a few of the basic aspects of each and how it is similar or different than our own adoption experiences. I want to emphasize that each type of adoption is a wonderful way to minister to orphans and, while I am going to highlight differences, I am not trying to suggest that what we're experiencing is more important or better than anyone else's experience.

Foster Care
We have not personally gone through anything directly connected to foster care. But, we know several couples who have adopted children through the state foster system and have learned much from them. The process is very similar to ours at the beginning stages. Several visits must be made to the adoptive parent's home in order to complete the home study. Also, we both have to complete some level of training about the adoption process. But, while our training was for ten hours and could be completed at home and online, the family we are most familiar with who completed the foster care education had to complete multiple hours of face to face training on Saturdays. Only people who complete the foster care training can watch those children who are in foster care. In other words, if foster parents want an evening out, they cannot call just any babysitter. They must make arrangements with someone who is approved by the state. There are many risks involved in all kinds of adoption, but they are unique for each type of adoption one goes through. Since this is only intended to be a summary in comparison to our story, I'll stop with one final difference: foster parents have almost all of the expenses for their adoption paid by the state and therefore are not in need of the funds like parents going through domestic or international adoption.

Domestic Adoption [child from within the United States]
When we first started our own adoption journey we began looking at the domestic adoption process and first completed a domestic home study. The information we provided was for a semi-open adoption which means the birth parent(s) chooses the adoptive parents (this is in contrast to a closed adoption). We completed a profile that was made available to birth parents so that they could choose whether or not to make their child available for us to adopt. There were a few times that our profile was being reviewed but for some reason the parent(s) didn't choose us. Most likely we would have found out that we were selected a few months before the birth of the baby. From there, based upon the wishes of both parties involved, the relationship between birth parents and adoptive parents would have been established. There are many costs associated with domestic adoption including the home study, background checks, agency fees, and placement fees. The costs of domestic adoption are often slightly cheaper than international adoption (depending upon the country from which you are adopting) but the big difference is that domestic adoption is most expensive at the end of the process since most of the money (placement fee) is exchanged after the adoption is complete.

International Adoption [from outside the United States]
For us, the process started with an international home study which is more in depth than the domestic home study. Once that was completed we had to work on our international dossier which includes documents such as health reports and financial reports. One major difference is that many of these documents needed to be notarized, sent to the state capitol for authentication, then sent to the Haitian Consulate (in Chicago) for authentication, and then sent to Haiti where they are now in the IBESR. [You can view our full timeline by clicking here.] Since this is what I write about most nights I won't say much more here. But, in terms of finances, the major difference from domestic adoption is that most of the money is exchanged at the beginning of the process. In other words, with the exception of travel and the kid's Visas, we've already paid most of the expenses of our adoption through the use of our savings account and interest free credit loans.

Private Adoption [both international and domestic]
This simply means that the adoptive couple is not working through an agency.

Biblical Adoption
Organizations such as Together for Adoption are raising the awareness that adoption is a concept that is central to the New Testament. I'll be writing more about this in coming weeks.

Consider this a primer on adoption. If I've missed something or you have additional insights please post a comment or email me.

Why We're Having an Adoption Fundraiser

2011-12-02T22:16:00.001-05:00

First, I'll give you the details and then I'll provide the justification (which may not be what you think). You can access more information in a few ways. First, you can click here to read my earlier post on this blog or click here to go the Facebook event page (RSVPs are greatly appreciated!). I'll let you read more by following those links, but here are the essentials:

Date: Friday, December 9

Time: 5:00 - 8:00 p.m.

Location: Grace Church (7300 Grubb Road, Erie, PA)

If you are unable to attend but would like to give a financial gift, you can follow the instructions by clicking here.

Now onto the justification. So...why are we having an adoption fundraiser? The honest answer is because someone approached us at church and asked if she could help us raise funds. When we set out on our adoption journey we were planning on doing very little fundraising. Our goal was to pay what we could from our savings, apply for as many grants as possible, and make use of the IRS income tax credit. But, as is often the case, the plans went in a very different direction.

This is our fourth year living in Erie, PA. Prior to accepting my current position at Gannon University we moved four times between 1999 and 2008 and owned two different homes. Julie and I are used to relying upon each other and really haven't lived anywhere long enough to develop a strong network of friends that we would trusted with a task like this. So, when we made our final plans for the adoption it never even entered our minds to ask others for assistance or for them to take such an active role in our story.

When our friend first asked if she could assist with raising funds we hesitated because that wasn't part of our plan. But we quickly learned that this was part of God's plan for our adoption journey. I am not suggesting that everyone should do a fundraiser for their adoption. Nor am I trying to make you feel guilty and give us money. But we've read some blogs about families who choose not to do much or any fundraising I want to provide some insight into how we've arrived at this point. So, here are a few thoughts about why I can say with confidence that we think it is part of God's plan for our adoption journey to have this fundraiser.

First, it is constantly challenging the "we can do it ourselves" mentality. I've written a few times that I believe we were not created by God to live life alone. This is one of those principles of American culture that often gets confused with biblical teaching. No where does the Bible say "God helps those who help themselves." It is probably more accurate to say that God helps those who humble themselves enough to realize that they can't do it alone.

Second, it is reminding us that this isn't our story - it's God's. One of my good friends serves as a pastor of a church in Illinois. I can remember him vividly recounting a conflict in his congregation in which he wanted to tell some involved "it's not about you." It's frustrating when people say things like "we're proud of you" or "you're doing such an amazing thing." I'm not trying to sound overly spiritual, but it's not about us. If we tried to do this alone we would fail miserably. It took us awhile to come to the realization that God has gotten us into this and He is the only way we'll make it through.

Third, it is providing opportunities for others to join God's story. One of the best insights someone shared with me was that people will want to contribute to our journey and we need to let them. Some people, such as our friend who has planned and coordinated almost the entire fundraiser so far, are giving time and energy. Over the past few days several people have asked how they can support us financially. Others are offering prayer. Others, including both businesses and individuals, have offered to donate items to both us and the fundraiser. None of this would have happened if we tried to take care of this by ourselves.

Fourth, as God has opened doors for us to share our story and begin to raise more awareness about orphan care we haven't had as much time to complete those grant applications I alluded to earlier. We have been overwhelmed by the doors God is opening for us. Just in the past week we've accepted a few speaking engagements (I'll provide more information in coming months) that will allow us to connect with a groups that aren't really connected to the orphan care movement at this moment. But it's not just the teaching side that's opening up. We've also had a few conversations about ways in which the details of our journey are challenging others to consider adoption for their own families. And (as if that's not enough) we've been asked to consider a significant way in which we can be directly involved with a situation that will greatly impact the lives of many people who deeply care about orphans.

There is more that can be said, but a main point I want to make is that the fundraiser isn't just about money. In fact, our goal is that next Friday will be about watching the way in which God is working in the lives of people within our church and community.

We'd love to see you there.

Why We Love Children of the Promise

2011-12-01T22:00:00.001-05:00

We received the following items in the mail today:

The return address indicated that it was from Children of the Promise. We've been really pleased by the care the children are receiving. Although, we may be a bit biased when we say that our care will be much better! Anyway, the fact that someone at COTP took the time to work with our kids hands and feet to make these turkeys and card is absolutely amazing. A week or so ago we received an email update with the kids heights and weights indicating that they are growing!

As if this isn't enough, Zoe brought the following picture home with her from school today:

The words across the top are "I am thankful" (she's in kindergarten). The two kids in the middle are her brother and sister.

We are slowly piecing together our rainbow.

A Little Adoption Blog Talk [November 2011]

2011-11-30T21:59:00.003-05:00

At a friend's request, we somewhat reluctantly began writing on this blog a little over a month ago (Wednesday, October 26, to be precise). In that time we've learned a few things about blogging and have found it a very effective way to share our story about adoption. There's a reason why I have never played fantasy football - I am fascinated by statistics and can sit and read through them over and over again (just ask Julie to confirm this). So, I'm going to try to make some sense about who is reading this blog and what is read most often. I have no idea how many readers are a good number for a blog, so I'm offering this to give you our numbers as a point of comparison (for those who have their own adoption blogs). I'll add a few thoughts at the end of this post about what these numbers could mean.

Here are the five most-read posts between October 26 and November 30, 2011:

1) Talking to Our Daughter About Adoption

Originally Posted 11/15/11

2) Us Plus Two

Originally Posted 11/19/11

3) Frequently Asked Questions

Originally Posted 11/19/11

4) Why Are We Adopting Two Children?

Originally Posted 11/13/11

5) The Cost of Our Adoption

Originally Posted 11/18/11

In addition to the above sites, some of our readers find us through a Google search. Regardless of how they get here, these posts only reflect a small portion of the total hits on the site (since 10/26/11 we've received over 3400 hits) because there are many more people who read the site but don't click on one particular post.

Not only are we able to see how many viewers read our blog but we can also see how these viewers access our site. The top four websites that are serving as links to our page are:

Facebook (Julie has a Facebook account right now but I don't)

emergingcggc.blogspot.com (a church related website where I write as well)

kissesinthewind11.blogspot.com

fitzpatrickfamilyadoption.blogspot.com

I have no idea whether this is a good following or not. But I know that those of you who have posted comments or have talked to us in person have been very encouraging with your support. Two ideas come to mind as I wrap up tonight. First, the posts on talking with Zoe about adoption are far and away the most read topic. From our research there really aren't any sources that address how to talk with a biological child about adoption (please post and correct me if I am wrong). I think some people are willing to read whatever sources they can about how to approach the topic with kids. My second thought is that there are more ways to get involved in orphan care than we ever expected. Even today we had some conversations about some ways we may be able to assist others with their own adoption. Clearly God has better insight into what all of this means than we do, but we're trying our best follow His lead.

I would write more, but I must check how many have read our blog since I started writing this...

Why Should the Church Engage in Orphan Care?

2011-11-29T21:47:00.001-05:00

Whether you're reading this blog for the first time or have been here since the beginning (considering that we've only been writing for a month, that's not an impossibility) it probably won't take you long to figure out that we are approaching adoption from a specific perspective. Two of the major factors that impact how we view our adoption are related to our family and our faith. As far as family, we are a married couple (12+ years) with a five-year old biological child. As far as our faith, we fall somewhere in the broad range of evangelical Christians. Since much of what I've been writing has explored the family dynamics of our adoption, tonight I want sort through some implications for our faith. Sometimes I make notes throughout the day about what I want to write or Julie says something that makes me think of our next post. But, tonight, as I type this I have no clear picture what I'll be writing about other than it will explore the intersection between orphan care and the Church.

A quick Google search reveals that almost anyone can adopt regardless of whether a person's relational status, sexual orientation, age, or religion. Therefore, the fact that we are working from a Christian perspective changes the agencies we can work with, the grants that we are eligible for, and our overall thoughts about adoption. In many ways our faith makes us unique. But in other ways I believe many adoptions are very similar. One of the first things that comes to mind is that there is no way we could do this alone. We have been overwhelmed by the amount of people who have offered some form of support whether to watch Zoe when we travel to Haiti, pray for the paperwork to move quickly, assist in coordinating our fundraiser, or offering some kind of financial support. If a person sets out on their own adoption journey with an I'll do it myself mindset, they'll quickly learn how impossible that truly is.

The idea that we can't complete this process alone reminds me of one of the major points of conversation at our local church when we often hear that we are designed by God to live in community. I fully believe this idea and that is one of the major reasons I believe that the church is well-positioned to respond to the orphan crisis both in the United States and around the world. By some estimates (most notably UNICEF in 2010) there are approximately 163 million orphans around the world. [Note: since there are nuances in the definition of orphan this does not mean that all of these children are in need of adoptive parents.] The local church is one of the few institutions that can provide healthy support networks for those who want to pursue orphan care - this could be in the form of foster care, domestic or international adoption, mission trips to assist orphanages, orphan hosting, and many other opportunities. When we combine the idea that we can't do this alone with the church's emphasis upon living in community we find a motivator to work for the cause of the orphans. I've spoken with a good friend who serves as the coordinator of discipleship ministries at the denominational level about whether orphan care is a mission issue or a discipleship issue. We all agreed that it is both. This leads to the third thought for the evening.

Why should the church engage in orphan care? The two reasons above are completely legitimate on their own, but the most powerful is simply because the Bible tells us to. There are multiple verses such as James 1:27 that speak to this concern: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. Psalm 68:5 refers to God as a Father to the fatherless. As if this isn't enough, one of the most striking examples of God's view of adoption comes in Matthew 1:1-16 where the lineage of Jesus is traced through his father, Joseph. Why do I find this significant? In order for the Old Testament prophecies about Jesus to be fulfilled, he had to come from the family line of David. The problem, for those who don't see God's role in adoption, is that Joseph is in the line of David, not Jesus's mother, Mary. In other words, the only way that Jesus is able to fulfill the Old Testament prophecies about him is through his adoptive father who shares no blood relation with his son. There are enough scriptural references to justify another post (which I'll probably write in coming weeks). But my goal tonight is to provide some thoughts about why orphan care should have a special place within the ministries of the church.

In the last two days I've had several conversations about how we can continue to use our story to get people's attention about orphan care. My hope is that we can help others make the connection between what we're doing and what the church is commanded to do. Several authors that we've read have suggested that bad things happen when someone tries to get between God and orphans. Our goal is to continue in our own journey of adoption and bring others along as well.

Will you join us?

Together for Adoption

2011-11-28T20:27:00.001-05:00

I've written a few times about how our adoption experience has been filled with what could be considered coincidence. I was reminded of one of those circumstances today when we had the opportunity to meet Jason Cornwell, Regional & Campus Ministry Director, for Together for Adoption (T4A). One of our good friends told me about T4A a little over a month ago. As I was reading their website I noticed that a new staff member was originally from southwestern Pennsylvania Since we've lived in a few counties in that area I emailed him to see if there was any chance our paths may have crossed at some point in the past. After a few emails we worked out a time to get together and talk about many perspectives related to adoption. I wrote down a few items as we talked and want to share these thoughts with you tonight.

There's no question that evangelicals have expressed a renewed interest in orphan care over the past few years. So, the question we spent some discussing was what has changed? In other words, why the interest in orphan care now? There are three components that go into any interpretation of the Bible: the book itself, the person interpreting the text, and the moment in history in which the person is reading the text. The Bible speaks very strongly about caring for orphans (James 1:27, etc.) and has done so for over 2000 years. So, the change does not rest with the Bible. What is it about our historical moment and/or the people interpreting scripture that has caused us to pay special attention to orphan care now? We didn't necessarily come up with an answer but I think we agreed that this is a question worth revisiting in future conversations.

Julie and I have noticed that our personal adoption story really gets people's attention and allows us to talk about the larger issues of orphan care found within the Bible as well as our culture in general. But, stories alone will not sustain the orphan care movement. Together for Adoption is strongly rooted in theological significance of adoption and the role it should play in our understanding as Christians. As we talked, I referred to the growing awareness of orphan care as "theological advocacy" (although I'm not whether or not Jason supports this term in reference to orphan care). I just did a quick Google search using "'theological advocacy' + 'orphan care'" that didn't return any results. Regardless of what we call this movement, the practical aspects of orphan care need to be built upon the biblical and theological foundation that T4A strongly promotes.

Talking with Jason was helpful in thinking through the notion that Julie and I are re-establishing what it means to live in a normal family structure. Reading books such as those listed under "Recommended Reading" to the right, attending conferences such as the Northway Orphan Expo, and talking with great people like Jason today is really establishing a new normal in our family.

Together for Adoption has been around for several years and we have much more to learn about how we can work together. But, if today provides any insight into ways we can work together in the future, then I am excited to see how God will further open this door.

Talking to Our Daughter About Adoption (Part Two)

2011-11-23T09:54:00.000-05:00

Last week I posted some general thoughts about talking to our daughter about adoption. You can click here if you would like to read that post. Since I only provided a list of questions that our daughter asked without any hint of how we answered them, today I want to provide some of the ways we tried to answer her questions.

When Julie gave birth to Zoe we had no idea that we would be adopting two children from Haiti sometime in our future. So, as you read these replies keep in mind that everyone's adoption experience is very different from ours. Some people adopt domestically through an agency. Some adopt through the foster care system. Some families adopt one child. Some families adopt multiple children. And the list of options goes on.

We have one five-year old (biological) and are adopting two siblings from Haiti.

In case you are wondering, we aren't recalling these conversations from memory. We began to keep a journal soon after we entered the adoption process once we realized that God was at work in ways we couldn't understand while we were in the midst of it. We've learned that many things make more sense in hindsight. So, we began to write things down so that we didn't forget them. I've blended a few conversations together, but all of the questions were really asked by Zoe at some point in the process so far. In light of our experiences, the following is how Julie replied to our daughter's questions when we first told her about our adoption (if I add stage directions this could be a scene in a play!):

Julie: Guess what? You are going to be a big sister!

Zoe's Question: Is it going to be a boy or a girl?

Julie's Answer (when we first started): We don't know. God will decide what is best for our family.

Zoe's Reply: Well, I want a boy and a girl (she had more insight at that point than we did).

Zoe's Question (to Julie - I never had an excuse for this one) : Is your tummy going to get big?

Julie's Answer: No, we are going to get them through adoption. So mommy's tummy won't be getting big.

Zoe's Question: What's adoption?

Julie's Answer: Adoption is when we become a family by taking in a child/children whose biological mommy and daddy can't take care of them anymore and then we become their family - mommy, daddy, and big sister.

Zoe's Question: What's biological?

Julie's Answer: The mommy and daddy had the baby in their belly.

Zoe's reply: Daddy's don't have babies in their belly!

Zoe's Question: Why can't their parents take care of them anymore?

Julie's Answer: Well, sometimes they are very young and can't afford to take care of them, sometimes they are from places where they don't have enough supplies to take care of them, sometimes they die, and unfortunately sometimes they make very bad choices and aren't allowed to take care of them anymore.

Zoe's Reply: That is very sad.

Julie's Reply: It really really sad but do you know what isn't sad? We get to be their family! God told us to take care of the orphans/kids who have no family. So, not only do we get a bigger family but we are also listening to what God tells us to do, which makes him very happy.

Julie Continues: You know how we talk in church about being in God's family after we say we want Jesus in our lives? God adopts us all into his family just like we will with your brother and sister. God loves us, accepts us, and takes care of us in the same way.

Zoe's Question: So when do we get them?

Julie's Answer: Sometimes it takes awhile.
Zoe's Reply: Minutes, hours, days, months, years?

Julie's Answer: We don't know. All we can do is pray for them and ask God to take care of them.

Julie Continues: You know it won't be easy. Imagine what it would be like...

Zoe's Question: Where are they now?

Julie's Answer: They are living now in an orphanage. An orphanage is where lots of children live that don't have a family to take care of them.

As often happens, something interrupted the conversation.

Kisses From Katie

2011-11-21T20:48:00.003-05:00

Julie recently read the book Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis and highly recommends it for anyone interested in international adoption and international orphan care. She is the founder of Amazima Ministries and lives in Uganda where she is the mother of 14 children. And, by the way, she is 22 years old. Yes, you read that correct: she lives in Uganda with her 14 children and is 22 years old. You can begin to see why Julie said her story is amazing.

I haven't actually read the book yet, but based upon everything she's told me (and the fact that she reads every post before I make it available to you), this story reminds me of a few truths about adoption:

First, God has designed all ages to have a heart for adoption. When Katie was 15 she made her first trip to Uganda. It was a process, but she eventually sensed that God was leading her to return to the country. When she moved she left behind her future husband (and the marriage never took place) and her family. She understood, even at a relatively young age, that God was calling her in a way that others may not understand.

Second, a willingness to follow God's call into adoption could eventually put a family at odds with the American Dream. I've written about this in my review of Radical by David Platt. From the book it appears as though her family had some money so what she gave up, by most standards, was tremendous comfort. Steven Curtis Chapman, in his song "Something Crazy," sings

I know a lady in Uganda, forty kids call her mama
And everybody thought it was crazy
She used to drive a beamer, but I've never seen her
Any happier than she is now

I'm not sure if this was written about Katie Davis or not. But, either way, the general feeling is consistent with her story.

Third, and this is the scary one for us, the more we read and listen to stories of truly radical decisions to follow God's leading in our understanding of adoption the more they become normal to us. What would the world look like if Katie's story wasn't so amazing because she was the norm and not the exception. Many people have told us about how the fact that we're adopting two siblings at the same time is amazing to them. I'm not trying to minimize what we're doing, but in many ways it's beginning to seem like that's the decision anyone would have made under similar circumstances.

Here's a video of Katie:

Us Plus Two

2011-11-19T22:39:00.002-05:00

You can click here to RSVP on the public Facebook event page if you have a Facebook account. If not, you click here to email your RSVP. But, you are invited even if you do not RSVP. In other words, it's more important to us that you come than that we know you are coming.

Frequently Asked Questions

2011-11-19T22:19:00.006-05:00

Much of what I've been writing on this blog has come in response to various questions we've received about our adoption. This post is intended to help those who are seeking answers to specific questions. Some of these questions are more general, but the answers are based upon our personal adoption experiences.

How are you talking with your daughter about adoption?
Click for answer: Part One & Part Two

What is the timeline of your adoption?
Click here for answer.

Where are your children living now?
Click here for answer.

Why are adopting from Haiti?
Click for answer: Part One & Part Two.

What are some ways I support orphan care if I don't want to adopt?
Click for some options: Sponsoring a child, Grace Church Orphan Care Ministry,

Why are you adopting two children?
Click here for answer.

What agency did you use for your home study?
Click here for answer.

What agency are you working with for your international adoption?
Click here for answer.

The Cost of Our Adoption

2011-11-18T21:44:00.001-05:00

I'm not really sure what we expected when we first began our adoption experience. We knew that it would take a large investment on our part, but I don't think we fully understood what that investment would look like. Although we are far from finished with our journey the costs involved are starting to emerge and they aren't exactly what we anticipated. So, here are some of the costs we've experienced:

Emotional Cost

There's no question that this is a very emotionally stressful experience. Two of our children are in Haiti when we obviously want them here with us. But Julie and I aren't the only ones who experience the emotions of this adoption: they have a big sister who prays every evening that they "come home sooner." We wait for updates about their medical condition. We assume that when they have a runny nose someone is there to wipe it. When they fall and need an extra hug we are hopeful that someone's arms are waiting. From everything we can tell, the care the children are receiving at Children of the Promise is high quality. But, as their parents, of course we believe our care would be better!

Relational Cost

As part of our approval process with A Love Beyond Borders, we needed to complete ten hours of online training for an international adoption. One of the valuable points made in the training was that we'll become a "minority family," meaning that once the adoption is finalized, we will no longer be a "typical" white American family. We are hopeful that this will not become an obstacle for anyone within our circle of friends or family, but we won't know for certain until the children are with us. But, we can also see how our adoption is already changing our relationships. So far, we really haven't lost any friends but we have definitely gained some new ones.

Financial Cost

I intentionally didn't include this one first, since this is what many people focus upon first. Yes, the financial cost is steep. We are estimating that our adoption expenses will be approximately $38,000. Our family possibly needs several dispensations from the Haitian government in order to complete our adoption. Each one of these will add a few weeks to our process and cost approximately $2000 each. We entered this process fully aware of the cost so we're not seeking anyone's sympathy for the amount of money we're investing. But, we have found that as we share our story many people have asked how they can support us and the two major ways at this point are to pray that our paperwork goes through quickly and to make a financial contribution. Therefore, you'll be seeing more information on this right side of this blog about an upcoming fundraiser event on Friday, December 9. This event is mostly being coordinated by a good friend of ours who volunteered to assist with fundraising. God is the Author of this story and continues to write new characters into each new chapter.

Loss of Predictability

Since Zoe has been born Julie has been able to stay home with her. In the first 2 1/2 years of her life, Zoe lived in three different houses. In August 2008, we moved to Erie when I accepted a teaching position at Gannon University. Since that time we have settled into a nice routine that involves much family time and a fairly relaxed schedule that allows us to enjoy our time as a family. We didn't realize how much of a routine we were in until we began the international adoption paperwork this past June. Since then we've been coming to terms with how much our predictable life is going to change. We are ready to have a family of five, but we understand basic math enough to know that five is very different than three. One of the most unhelpful things that people have asked us is "you know your life is going to change, don't you?" Absolutely. We're as ready as we can be. But, there is still the loss of the routine that we've established over the past three years.

Losing Our Hearts for Haiti

This one may be the most difficult to understand. But, we feel caught between two lands. We like our life in Erie but we would rather all be together somewhere else than to keep our routine and be separated. Zoe is here, and she will always need us. Our other two children are in Haiti, and they need us just as much.

I'm sure that there will be many more costs that we encounter over the coming months. We've already missed our son's birthday (although we did receive a picture) and it is most likely that we'll miss our other daughter's as well. We'll spend Thanksgiving and Christmas separated. But we'll be together soon.

Until tomorrow...

How to Financially Support Our Adoption

2011-11-18T20:31:00.006-05:00

If you are unable to attend one of our fundraising events, there are a few ways in which you can make a financial contribution to our adoption:

First, if you attend Grace Church you can place your donation in the offering - please place our names (Brent & Julie Sleasman) on your gift (for all of these options we receive 100% of the donation).

Second, you can mail your donation to Grace Church at 7300 Grubb Road, McKean, PA 16426 - please clearly identify our names on your gifts.

Third, you can make an online donation through Grace Church by following the link below. If you are a regular online giver at Grace, you can follow the normal prompts. If not, click on "New User" and create an online profile. After entering your login information, click "Donation" and then add the amount to the "Benevolent Fund" option. Please include our names, Brent & Julie Sleasman, in the "Message" area on the page in order for your donation to be directed toward our adoption expenses.

And, most importantly, thank you for your support!

After making your donation, you can email here to confirm receipt of your gift.

Click here to make your donation.

Delicate Fortress Creations

2011-11-17T21:44:00.002-05:00

You may have noticed the new link at the left side of the page. Julie went to a "Holiday Shop-for-a-Cause with Delicate Fortress Creations" party tonight at the home of one of her friends and has decided that she loves this organization. In fact, we are talking with the owner (Karyn Puller) about being a part of our fundraiser on Friday, December 9. Not only are the products really cool, the purpose of Delicate Fortress Creations is to assist in stopping human trafficking by supporting the non-profits who are providing an income to former victims and survivors of human trafficking.

We didn't even realize that this was a local organization until after we emailed for more information. In addition to doing live parties, there is an extensive online store where you can buy all sorts of products.

As we read more and more about orphan care and adoption, it's impossible to overlook the role that human trafficking has played (and continues to play) in orphan care around the world.

We are fortunate to have made this connection. If you are interested in finding out more about how Delicate Fortress Creations can be a part of your adoption fundraising, check out the website.

Our Adoption Timeline

2011-11-16T22:07:00.001-05:00

One of the questions that we are often asked is either "how long has the process taken you?" or "how long until you have the children?" My favorite question-asker is someone from our church who asks the second question every time I see her - it's as if she has forgotten what I told her the week before and I have to run through all the steps again. So...for those who are interested in our adoption timeline, this post is for you.

January 2010: Began domestic adoption process

May 2010: Our home study for domestic adoption was complete

May 2011: We revised our documents and paid the one-year renewal fees

June 2011: We changed direction and began pursuing Haitian adoption

July 2011: Our home study was revised for international adoption

August 23, 2011: Mailed our completed dossier to A Love Beyond Borders

August 30, 2011: We received confirmation that our paperwork was on its way to the Haitian Consulate in Chicago

September 8, 2011: We received confirmation that our dossier was on its way to the Haiti (via Florida)

September 16, 2011: We received our referrals (we received pictures on September 17)

September 22, 2011: We drove to Buffalo, NY, to process our I600a

September 26, 2011: We received confirmation that our dossier was in first legalization (which, we believe, is the Minister of Foreign Affairs)

October 18, 2011: We received confirmation that our I600a application was approved and processed

November 12, 2011: We received confirmation that our dossier was sent to Port-au-Prince and to the IBESR

This is where our dossier is now and could be there for 4-7 months. We'll make our first trip to Haiti sometime in 2-3 months.

As you can see, this is a very time consuming process. But, we understand that many international adoptions take much longer. Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement.

We'll keep you updated as we learn more.

Talking to Our Daughter About Adoption

2011-11-15T13:56:00.001-05:00

When we first started this journey we made the intentional choice that we would talk about adoption in front of our daughter but, more importantly, with her. Of the many things we've learned is that she has a larger capacity to understand what we're doing than some adults we've encountered. Here are some things that we've learned by having these conversations with her.

When we look at the inside of our vehicle we see space to put our luggage when we travel. She sees another seat that could fit another sibling.

When we look at our house we see our upstairs spare room as a place for family when they visit. She sees a place where more siblings could sleep.

When we look at the pictures of our children in Haiti we sometimes see difference. She sees a little sister and little brother that will have curly hair "just like me" and a little brother who will like to play outside "just like me."

Here are some specific questions she's asked:

Is it going to be a boy or girl?
Is your tummy going to get big?
What's adoption?
What's biological?
Why can't their parents take care of them anymore?
So, when do we get them?
Will they have light skin or dark skin?
Where are they now?
Did you adopt me?

You may see a few themes here - we see limits and she sees opportunities. We're sometimes guarded about the questions we ask and she is open, honest and curious. There is something to be said about having a childlike faith and a willingness to trust that someone will give an honest answer.

There is no question that caring for orphans is a fundamental part of the New Testament in the Bible. But, she brings a perspective that makes it seem so natural that it causes us to wonder why more people don't adopt. We've talked with her about how we're all adopted into God's family - we are not biological children of God and yet we're still His children. She talks often about how we are doing for these kids what God has done for us.

Often, churches talk about themselves as a "family" - if we truly embrace that idea then we should realize that we are not a family by birth but a family because, although we're all very different, we've been adopted into God's family. What an example to follow.

Once in awhile someone will respond to our adoption story with something like "what you're doing is amazing." What it continually reminds us of is that God has done something even more amazing for us. When we are simply following God's example, we can only call what we're doing amazing if we first acknowledge what he has done for us. And what he has done is adopt us into His family as His children.

Please don't misunderstand me, I am not suggesting that everyone should adopt. But, I think that we need to be challenged by the example that God set for us. I recently read a blog post "What Keeps Christians From Adopting?" that may be of interest to you. Click here and you'll be taken to that post.

I'm sure we'll continue to learn more about having a childlike faith as we listen to our daughter's questions and comments. We can learn spiritual truths in a variety of places.

You can read Part Two of this post by clicking here.

Why Are We Adopting Two Children?

2011-11-13T20:41:00.001-05:00

It seems like I've written many times already about how we started the domestic adoption process in January 2010. Among the many decisions we made at the very beginning of our adoption journey was that we would adopt one child. But, as you can tell from the picture to your left, that picture is not of one child but two Haitian siblings. So...what happened that caused us to change our minds.

When you do semi-open or open adoption you will most likely need to complete a profile of your future child, including what your preferred racial make-up will be. When we first received the form indicating the racial profile of our child we were determined that we were going to be open to whatever child God had in store for us. The person at our adoption agency handed us the form and said, "Don't worry - most people choose this option" while pointing at "Causcasian." And, that is the very choice we made the first time we completed the form. Looking back we realize that this decision was driven more by a concern about what other people would say than by what we thought was the best option for our family.

After several months of not being completely settled with our decision, we revised our options to include just about any racial make-up. With that decision came a few realizations. First, we realized that this choice would impact everything in our future. As a minority family, we would need to give new consideration to the communities where we live, the schools all of our kids attend, and the cultural events to which we will travel. Second, while we didn't know for certain if any close friends or family would have an issue with our decision, we were making a choice that our future children would take priority over those who may not approve of our decision. So far, we've not encountered anyone who hasn't supported our decision, but we fully understand that racism is alive and well in the United States and will not be surprised when it reveals itself in someone's words or actions.

We realize now that God was allowing us to learn many things about ourselves and our families during this time of waiting. I won't rehash the details of how we ended up adopting from Haiti since you can read that here and here.

After we updated our paperwork and we started our quest to adopt one Haitian child. On a Friday in mid-August our representative from A Love Beyond Borders called our home and talked to Julie for almost thirty minutes to confirm that we were only interested in adopting one child and to get a sense of what referral would suit the child best. That Sunday our pastor preached a sermon about saying "yes" to God. We weren't exactly sure what that meant for us, but we knew it had something to do with our adoption from Haiti. Up to this point we had talked about making two separate trips to Haiti so that we could adopt two children. We decided that we would say "yes" to whatever opportunities God would bring our way as far as our future adoption(s).

The following Tuesday our representative called back and started with the words "This never happens, but..." and then proceeded to tell us about a sibling pair that was brought into the orphange and how our profile would a perfect match. If you've seen the picture to the left you've probably figured out the rest, but just in case you haven't I'll fill in the gaps. We told her that we would pray about it and consider if that was what was best for our family. That is one of the moments we realized that we weren't in charge of our story; this was God's story and we were simply trying to do our best to follow His leading. So, we said yes to adopt both siblings. We received the official referral a week or so after Labor Day and have been anxiously awaiting our first trip to Haiti ever since.

So, clearly this isn't the way we thought our story would develop. But, we do serve a God of unexpected destinations. We see ourselves as characters in God's story; a God who is a perfect Author for our "perfect" story. We realize that everything won't go smoothly or as we always have planned, but we'll do our best to follow His leading.

If this is God's story, I guess you can call this chapter the one about how we arrived at the conclusion that we are adopting two children from Haiti.

Paperwork Update

2011-11-12T22:04:00.002-05:00

We were notified late yesterday that our paperwork has now advanced to the IBESR in Haiti. According to what we were told, this is the longest part of the process and will take 4 - 7 months for completion. Following this step, there are a few additional items that need finalized. But, our paperwork is now in what may be the most important phase of the approval process. I'll post another update once we learn our first travel date.

Orphan Care Expo @ Northway Christian Community

2011-11-12T21:53:00.001-05:00

Julie and I attended the Orphan Care Expo held at Northway Christian Community today. I'll continue sharing more details of our personal adoption story tomorrow night (most likely exploring how we talk about adoption with our five year old daughter). But, for tonight, I want to pass along some of the resources and ideas we learned today. If you are reading this blog to learn more about our adoption story, please understand that these resources are becoming part of our own story. In other words, by reading posts like this one you'll come to better understand us, our family, and how we think about adoption. So, I hope you'll continue reading.

The following are several organizations we met with today. Follow the links to learn more about what services each provides (and feel free to email us with any questions or recommendations for specific people to contact):

New Horizons For Children: This is probably the most compelling organization we encountered today. New Horizons specializes in something new to most people, orphan hosting. The couple at the table were recently profiled on KDKA TV (Pittsburgh). You can watch their story here:

Bethany Christian Services: Bethany is a national organization with a local office located in Meadville. Bethany offers services in child and family advocacy, respite care (for foster parents), and various support groups.

Dillon International: Dillon International is affiliated with Buckner, a Texas organization focused upon orphan care. They are beginning to expand their work in Haiti, which is of special interest to us.

We were able to attend five sessions throughout the day. I'll provide a brief description of each topic and the session leader:

Keynote speaker: Kent Chevalier, one of the many pastors at Northway Christian Community. Great words to get us started. My favorite expression he used was that during the day we would "drink from the fire hose of information." (And he was correct!) But, on a more serious note, he said that "delayed obedience is disobedience." In other words, if we tell Zoe to clean up the toys she just finished playing with and she says "okay," then we expect her to do it now. We can apply this idea to our spiritual life when we consider the leading of the Holy Spirit. If we sense we are being led in a specific direction by God, then we should act upon it now. Otherwise, we're being disobedient to God.

An Exploration of Life Within a Blended Family of Biological and Adopted Children: This session was led by Lisa Baronner, Co-Director of Adoption By Choice in Erie, PA.

Answering Your Child's Questions About Adoption: This session was led by Sandra McLaughlin, Executive Director of Bethany Christian Services of Western Pennsylvania (located in Meadville, PA). Julie attended this session.

Reaching Social Orphans in Complex Urban Environments: This session was led by Bryan McCabe, pastor at Northway Christian Community. He will be leading a new multi-site campus of the church in the East End of Pittsburgh (I believe the campus will launch in early 2012). I attended this session and found it very informative for any church interested in ministering to the city. Our home church is exploring beginning another multi-site campus and some part of the city of Erie is a possible location, so I found this interesting and timely.

Transracial Adoption: This session was led by Maureen Ticich, who also works for Bethany Christian Services. Julie attended this session and found it very interesting and insightful. She was able to gather a long list of books and resources that may be worth passing along. We'll be happy to pass along the list if you are interested - but, we may be posting specific details about some books if they are especially relevant to this blog and our adoption.

Justice & Discipleship: Taking Your Congregation on a Journey of Discovering God's Passion for Justice: This session was led by Christa Hayden who serves as the Director of Church Mobilization for International Justice Mission. I attended this session.

We highly recommend this event for anyone interested in domestic or international adoption or foster care.

Why Haiti? (Part Two)

2011-11-10T22:34:00.001-05:00

In January 2010 we began the domestic adoption process but that obviously isn't the path we're on now. So, how did we get from there to here? Julie and I went through all the necessary steps in order to adopt domestically including contacting a local agency and completing the home study. Throughout that process we needed to consider questions about our future child such as gender and race. As we talked about what would be best for our family we initially said that gender didn't matter but we needed more time to consider the race of the child. We wanted to be open to any child but we ended up selecting Caucasian as our option. After several months of not being selected (we were working with a semi-open adoption agency) we started to sense that maybe we should reconsider our decision about race. So, we returned to the agency during the late summer of 2010 and revised our initial decision. Still, we waited.

Then, on what we thought was a random Sunday, everything changed. I've written about 6/19/11 several times on this blog. It was on that day that our church had a special morning worship service dedicated to their various ministries in Haiti. As part of the service they promoted a program called Starfish Kids in which children could be sponsored for a small monthly fee. With this money the sponsored child could attend school and have other opportunities otherwise missed. Our daughter (who was five at the time) helped us choose which young girl we would sponsor. At home after the service I was looking on the internet to find more information about the Starfish Kids program when I discovered that Haitian adoptions were reopened.

Just a quick note: we briefly talked about Haitian adoption in January 2010, but since the earthquake had just occurred we realized that the adoptions were closed and never really gave it much more consideration. Obviously, God has other ways of getting our attention.

So, I began looking through some photos of available children. I stopped and told Julie that "we should go get him" when I saw a picture that simply had the initials D.W. next to it. She stopped and immediately asked "Are you serious?" Little did I know the significance of that question. I'm not sure how I responded but she stopped again and said, "No, are you really serious?"

In hindsight we realize now that while we were both fully committed to adoption we were not thinking about it in the exact same way. I was thinking infant while she was thinking toddler. We now have a better understanding that God was providing us time for something much better.

It's easy to sit here tonight and say that waiting was worth it. But, honestly, the almost eighteen months of waiting was anything but easy. We were frustrated, confused, and wondered what direction we should go in next. Too often I think we can forget the struggles we had to go through to get to the other side. But, our journey is anything but complete.

So, while we know for certain that we are adopting two children from Haiti, we still are waiting to find out the exact timeline of when we can meet them and when we'll bring them home (we have to make two trips to Haiti - the first to begin the immigration paperwork and the second to bring them home).

That is how we ended up in the adoption process from Haiti. Although we still have much to learn about being parents of adopted children, we know for certain that nothing is official until it's complete. We're confident and hopeful our story will end well but we're certain that God has led us this far for a reason.

Why Haiti? (Part One)

2011-11-09T21:50:00.002-05:00

Starting with this post, I want to spend the next few days sharing more details about our personal adoption journey. So, tonight I'll begin with part of the story about why we are adopting from Haiti.

Julie and I have talked about this several times throughout the past six months or so. Haiti was a common topic of conversation at various points growing up. My aunt, uncle, and cousins spent some time in Haiti as missionaries in the early 1970s and I have early memories hearing stories about their experiences. In addition to their service, our church denomination has had an active ministry in Haiti for many years and I remember hearing stories of various people who lived in or visited Haiti. Also, my sister has been to Haiti as part of a short-term missions team as well. I've always known where it was located (contrary to many people we talk to) and I've always associated Haiti with God's work in the world. We have never been to Haiti ourselves. I had a few opportunities to go about 15 years ago, but the scheduling never worked out.

I wrote a little about this in the very first post on this blog. We were married in June 1999 and moved from Findlay, OH, to Plum Borough (east suburbs of Pittsburgh) in July 2001. That is probaby where our conversation about adopting from Haiti first began. Sometime during 2001 or 2002 we would spend some random evenings looking through adoption website; the specific one we can remember is Precious in His Sight. We remember looking through pictures of children from various countries around the world. Looking back there is really no explanation for why we often stopped at the websites promoting Haitian adoption. My best guess is that we stopped at Haitian babies because the website was the best one to view.

We moved again in 2005 and Zoe was born in 2006. So, I guess by that point we became focused on building a family in what is thought of as the "traditional" way. Of course, as is often the case, things didn't go in that direction. We moved again in 2007 and 2008. Fortunately, after all of the moves, we've been living in the same house since 2008.

In January 2010 we began the domestic adoption process. Obviously that isn't the path we're on now. Tomorrow night I'll try to put into words what exactly happened on June 19, 2011 that changed the course of this journey. And, honestly, it's not too strong to say that what happened that day changed the course of our lives.

Until tomorrow...

[To read Why Haiti (Part Two) click here]

One More Opinion About the Penn State Scandal

2011-11-08T22:15:00.000-05:00

By now, many of you have heard about the allegations surrouding the Penn State football program. If not, you can follow this link and read more. Since the purpose of this blog is to share our adoption story (and not for me to share my opinion about sports) I'll focus my comments on how I see this story connecting to orphan care. Bear with me while I lay the groundwork and I'll make the connections a little further down this post. I am not going to assume that everyone reading this thinks about life from a Christian perspective. But, since that is how our household functions that is the perspective I am bringing to this topic. So, here are a few thoughts:

First, Jesus cares deeply about the well-being of children. For example, Luke 17:2 says "It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin." The tragedy of this story, if proven true, lies in the fact that defenseless children were taken advantage of.

Second, we need to view this story through a biblical lens. Paul writes that "all have sinned" (Romans 3:23) raising the question why are we shocked to learn that human beings made mistakes? The bigger shock would be if Joe Paterno, or any of the people directly or indirectly involved, were perfect. We see this time and time again in both professional and university-level sports. When Ben Roethlisberger, Hines Ward, or James Harrison does something offensive the reaction is often shock, as if they are "above such things." No one is above such things.

[As a side note, I think part of the issue is that Americans often give star athletes a free pass when it comes to personal indiscretions. Once the jersey is back on and another championship is won, "fans" conveniently forget what happened because we want to cheer for the team. Conservative Christians often get fixated on issues like homosexuality and abortion and never discuss the actions of a player. Where's the biblical justice in that? Nowhere. Okay, so some sports commentary has made its way in tonight.]

Now, how does this connect to orphan care? Perhaps the question we should be asking isn't why aren't they doing more to proactively solve this case and defend these innocent children. The better question may be why am I not doing more to proactively defend innocent children. I am not trying to minimize the events at Penn State. But, how often have we encountered stories in books, on the news, on a TV show or in a movie about child trafficing and we've done nothing? How often have we even considered the way in which children are treated in the US as well as around the world every day and yet we've done nothing? Why all the fuss about Penn State when we don't make a fuss any other day about any of the other tragedies experienced by children on a daily basis? The issue for me isn't that we should care about Penn State less; the issue is that we should start caring about these other issues more.

As you listen to or read about the events at Penn State University, keep in mind that we serve a greater purpose than a college football regime. Perhaps in some way this story can jump start your own journey in response to the injustice in the lives of children around the world.

P.S. I know that you may feel uncomfortable posting your responses. So, please email me if you would like to provide any feedback to these thoughts. I am not suggesting this is the best interpretation of these events, but at least it can start a conversation.

If you're not considering adoption...

2011-11-07T21:10:00.003-05:00

We completely understand that adoption is not the best option for every family. But, that doesn't mean there aren't other ways that you can support a child, or children, around the world. Below are a few options for sponsoring a child through a relatively small financial donation. Follow each link and you'll find more information:

Children of the Promise

Compassion International

New Life for Haiti

Starfish Kids (One Mission Society)

World Vision

These are just a few of the options available. Most of these programs can provide food and other necessities for not much more than most families spend on eating out in a week or two. I am not trying to use guilt as a motivator. But, if you are feeling guilty about now it may be an indication that you can do more to provide for those in need. If you have children in your life, consider using this as an object lesson that there are many around the world who are in greater need than Americans. Are we selfish if we don't adopt? Not at all. Are we selfish if we keep what we have for ourselves and don't share with those who are in need? Perhaps.

But, please don't fall into the trap of just sending money. While these kids can greatly benefit from your financial gift, ultimately they need human interaction and to know that there are people who care deeply for them. It's about investing your time as well as your money.

More could be said, but I think you get the point.

Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

2011-11-06T20:33:00.001-05:00

I've read two books by David Platt over the past few weeks - Radical and Radical Together. I didn't realize that David (and his wife, Heather) were adoptive parents until well into the first book. Both books are intended to challenge a typical Christian's priorities as far as how we spend our time and money as well as how much importance we place upon sharing our story with those who have never heard. Someone told me that he put the book down about halfway through because he found that he already agreed with what was written. But, for most of us, I would guess that most who read Platt's books can use the reminder or are encountering these ideas for the first time.

For me, one of his most challenging points explored the sacrifice required of Jesus's followers. Of the original twelve disciples, it is historically accepted that John was the only one who died of natural causes. All the rest died in less than ideal ways (to put it very mildly). If you include Jesus in this conversation, then it does challenge the notion that Christians somehow have "earned" an easy life; or in Platt's terms it challenges the "American Dream". He also raises concerns about those who say unbiblical things such as "I've never felt safer than when I am in the middle of God's will." Platt's probably right when he suggests that if we're feeling "safe" then we're probably not in the middle of God's will.

From a larger perspective, our adoption journey really hasn't yet challenged our safety. From our American perspective we're taking a risk financially. But, from God's perspective we're not risking much at all.

It was Steven Furtick who wrote "if the size of your vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God."

Of the two books, I highly recommend Radical. Even if it only reinforces what you already believe, I think it's worth the time.

Update from Haiti: New IBESR Director

2011-11-05T19:44:00.002-04:00

Children's HopeChest reported that the Director of the IBESR was fired on Monday, October 31, 2011. You may be wondering "What, exactly is the IBESR?" and "Why should I care that the Director was fired?" Good questions. If you speak (or read) French it may be helpful to know that these letters stand for "Institut du BienEtre Social et de Recherches." But, if you're like us, some explanation in English would be very helpful.

From what we've learned so far, the IBESR is the Haitian equivalent to a Department of Health and Human Services in the U.S. This body guides each adoption dossier through the approval process. The main organization that is standing between our children and our home is this organization and the main person responsible for providing final approval is the Director.

A new Director has been appointed and she is gradually adjusting to the new position. Is it wrong to pray that a gust of wind blows our paperwork to the top of the pile? We're hopeful that the adoption approval process will pick up speed as she gets settled into her new position.

We'll keep updating this blog as we learn more.

Children of the Promise: Update

2011-11-04T21:50:00.004-04:00

COTP has updated their website. If you want to view the page you may need to refresh your browser so that you can see the newly redesigned site. This website is much more informative and provides details about the preschool, living conditions, and the daily life of the kids. We're very encouraged by the care they're receiving but are still eager to have them home (of course we're a little biased that our care will be better!).

They indicated that the Haitian adoption process is currently moving more slowly than it has been. We're not exactly sure what that means for us, but we'll keep praying to make our first trip as soon as possible.

"In other words, it is not the natural children who are God's children, but it is the children of the promise who are regarded as Abraham's offspring." (Romans 9:8)

Adoption By Choice

2011-11-03T20:35:00.003-04:00

As I've written about a few times already, our adoption story began in January 2010. After making a few contacts seeking information, we found the agency that eventually completed our home study for both the domestic adoption (which was never completed) and our international adoption from Haiti. This agency, Adoption By Choice, is located in Erie, Pennsylvania.

We've been very pleased with all of the work they have done for us. One of the best examples of how much they supported our adoption efforts came when we found out we would need several documents notarized, including our medical reports. The administrative assistant, who is a notary, drove to our doctor's office to witness his signature. This whole process can be overwhelming at times, so knowing that we had a local resource was a wonderful support.

Also, we stopped by today to show them pictures of the kids. Even though we're no longer actively using their services, we still view them as very much a part of our adoption story.

Feel free to use our name if you call.

National Adoption Month

2011-11-02T21:22:00.002-04:00

Our Heart for Adoption

2011-11-02T21:10:00.002-04:00

I recently posted this blog address on another blog in which I participate. My reply to a question may be insightful for those of you who are interested in learning more about how we view this process in light of our own spiritual journey.

The Question: Brent- I'd like to hear some of your heart about how this issue become so important to you. It's still not something that we hear that much about, even though it has been getting more recognition in the evangelical world.

My answer: To be entirely honest, when we first started the adoption process we were mainly thinking of adding a child to our family. But, as often happens when we serve a God of unexpected destinations, our journey has taken us in directions we never anticipated.

It started when my wife and I both agreed that our family wasn't complete (we have a five year old daughter). But, for a variety of reasons we came to the conclusion that adoption would be the best option for our family. So, when we began the process in January 2010, we contacted a local agency that focuses on domestic adoptions. We went through all the necessary steps including the home study. And then...we waited. Since we were working with a semi-open adoption we were waiting for someone to choose us as the parents for their child. At the time we thought we were waiting for someone to choose us, but what was really going on was that God was preparing us for something much greater.

Now, we'll jump ahead to June 19, 2011; by this point we had been waiting for over a year. On that Sunday our church had a special worship service dedicated to various ministries in Haiti. One of the items that was promoted was a program called Starfish Kids which allowed us to sponsor a child for a year (in a similar way as Compassion International). When we got home that day I was looking up more information about the organization that runs Starfish Kids when I came across a website indicating that Haitian adoptions were reopened (they had been closed since January 2010 due to the earthquake - notice the timing, we do not serve a God of circumstance). I was looking through the photos of some of the available children and told my wife that "we should go get him" when I saw a random picture. She immediately stopped and asked "Are you serious?" The rest, as they saying goes, is history.

We started talkling and realized that while we both were fully commited to adoption, we weren't on the same page as far as our expectations of a child - I was thinking infant and she was thinking toddler. As we talked through what was going on we came to the realization that we were being led to adopt from Haiti.

So, we updated our paperwork and starting pursuing a Haitian adoption for one child. On a Friday in mid-August the agency we're working with contacted us to confirm that we were only interested in adopting one child. The following Tuesday she called back and started with "This never happens, but..." and the proceeded to tell us about a sibling pair that was brought to the orphanage and how our profile would be a perfect match. We told her we would pray about it and consider if that was best for our family. Jumping ahead again, we are now in the process of waiting to finalize the adoption of two children - a three year old boy and his nine month old sister.

Things have been moving so fast that we started to writing things down so we could remember. I'll follow this post with a few themes that have emerged from that journal. Here are a few of the themes that have emerged from thinking through the last five months:

When God gives you a story to tell, you tell it
This is one of the reasons that we've started this other blog. This isn't our story - this is God's story that he's graciously invited us into.

Adoption is a key biblical metaphor
We've been reading various blogs, books and articles about adoption within the Christian community. One of the points that you made in your question is that adoption is growing in recognition within the evangelilcal world. I find it fascinating that we've been reading the same Bible for almost 2000 years and only recently have "discovered" the significance that adoption plays in our faith.

For my wife and I, this isn't just about our adoption. We feel a genuine call to help others consider the role that adoption should play in their own lives as well. We are working with our local church to establish an orphan care ministry. And, professionally, I'm exploring ways that my own research and writing can further the cause of orphans and raise awareness about adoption. [UPDATE & NOTE: This is a major reason we have created this blog. If you would like additional information, please contact us.]

There is much more that could be said, but I think this summarizes our heart right now. I'll be happy to reply to more questions about our experiences.

Just a note...

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If you are following this blog, you've probably figured out that our goal here is not just to tell you about our experiences. We're not trying to trick you into adopting. But we are asking you to prayerfully consider how you can support the cause of orphans. Perhaps it's through adoption. Perhaps it's through foster care. Perhaps it's by praying for us or someone else you know going through a similar experience. Or maybe you can become a character in our story by giving financially. God is writing a beautiful story and inviting you to join in whatever way you feel led.

I'll be posting more details soon. But, please, don't dismiss the resources that are provided just because you think "that's nice, but they're for someone else."

The links, books and resources are discoveries we've made on our journey. Perhaps you're reading this because you are being challenged to begin your own. And, when you do, we'll be glad to listen as you share your own discoveries.

Until tomorrow...

A Love Beyond Borders

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Once we knew we were supposed to adopt from Haiti, our first big struggle was to figure out how to find an adoption agency that could handle the international aspects of the adoption process. The whole idea of sending money to an organization we've never heard of was very stressful. Fortunately, once we found Children of the Promise we were immediately connected to our international agency, A Love Beyond Borders, and our Country Program Coordinator, Stephanie Thoet. Their main office is in Denver and Stephanie works from the state of Washington. Most of our contacts have been by email although she is available by phone when we have a question or concern.

We highly recommend LBB (apparently everyone in the adoption business has catchy initials) and will be glad to talk with you more about our experiences.

Grace Church Orphan Care Ministry

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We are in the process of developing an orphan care ministry at our church. Our stated purpose is

The Grace Orphan Care ministry exists to provide information, support, resources and direction for individuals and families who feel God's leading toward adoption and/or foster care.

While there are many scripture passages that point toward this ministry area, one that we have gravitated toward is “The helpless put their trust in You. You are the defender of orphans Lord; You know the hopes of the helpless. Surely You will listen to their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so people can no longer terrify them” (Psalm 10:17-18).

Please email me if you attend Grace and would like more information about upcoming events or how to be part of our leadership team.

Please email me if you do not attend Grace Church and would like more information about how to start an orphan care ministry at your own church.

In other words, feel free to contact us with any questions about how to become more involved with the care for orphans.

When God Gives You a Story to Tell

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Today at church we were asked to share briefly about our adoption experiences. I'm hoping that we'll have an audio clip of our interview that I can post soon. In this post I'll include the questions and a few thoughts that we shared today.

Give us a quick description of what you are doing to invest in others.

As the heading of this blog indicates, we are adopting two children from Haiti. The children are currently living in Cap Haitien, Haiti, at Children of the Promise.

Tell us the story of how this came about through what God was stirring in your heart and any risk you had to take to follow thru?

We began the domestic adoption process in January 2010. After completing all the necessary steps (home study, etc.). We were working with semi-open adoption but no one was selecting our profile. Our agency told us that "we were profiling well" but that no one was choosing us. I tend to think about that as a real estate agent telling you that your house is "showing really well" but no one makes an offer. Anyway, on June 19, 2011, Grace Church had a worship day dedicated to Haiti. After church we chose to sponsor a Starfish Kid. While I was researching the organization at home, I came across a site that said Haitian adoptions were reopened. We realize now in hindsight that God was using the time while we weren't being selected to help us come to agreement about our expectations in the adoption.

Jumping ahead...a few of the risks include our family becoming a "minority family." We currently have three members of our immediate family (all white) and we are adopting two Haitian children. Another risk is that we are taking on more financial debt than we've ever had. Our only debt has been car loans, students loans, and mortgage payments. In addition to the cost we are facing the reality of losing all of our financial investment. A third risk is that we are used to doing everything by ourselves. We do most things together without needing to rely on many people beyond ourselves. What's fascinating about this is that God is allowing the people who are approaching requesting more information to help meet other needs (including our financial concerns).

How is your life different now that you are on this path?

We are finding that there is a certain level of peace that comes from following God's leading. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not suggesting that following God's leading is safe. Look at what happened to Jesus and many of his closest followers. The risk is real, but we are confident we are doing what we're supposed to be doing.

Orphan Sunday (November 6, 2011)

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Orphan Care: Bringing Hope to the Fatherless

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On Saturday, November 12, there will be a conference at Northway Christian Community, in Wexford, PA (in the North Hills of Pittsburgh). Julie and I attended North Way for several years while we lived in Plum Borough between 2001 - 2005. We've never attended this conference before but are planning to travel to it in a few weeks. If you would like more information about the conference, you can follow the link or post a comment here.

Teaching Point # 1

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When I sit down to write these posts, it's impossible for me to stop being the professor who reads and teaches about various aspects of human communication. Also, my research and writing has focused on different aspects of interpersonal communication and the philosophical components of our everyday relationships and communication.

Why is this relevant now? Some of you may have noticed that I've added an "Upcoming Fundraising Events" section on the main page of this blog. One of the things that we've realized is that we can't do everything associated with our adoption on our own. We've also realized that God has uniquely gifted other individuals and families in ways that are truly a blessing to our cause. For example, the person who has taken charge of the fundraising component (and who will remain nameless unless I am instructed otherwise) sees this an opportunity to use her spiritual gifts in her service to God. As we move through this process we are sharing things about our families and talking more than we really ever have in the 3+ years we've known each other's families. May we become very good friends as a result of this experience? Absolutely. Did she offer to help because she was looking for a friendship? Absolutely not. She is working with us in our cause to adopt two orphans because she sees this as her opportunity to serve God. We need each other. As Paul writes in Corinthians, every part of the body is necessary.

Too often I've heard people, especially within the church, say things like "What I'm really looking for is a chance to build relationships." This is putting the cart before the horse. Or, more appropriately, putting the relational expectations before working toward a common cause.

When we join together and work toward a common cause, relationships will form as a by-product of our projects. Seeking a human relationship first will most often lead to dead ends if not focused on a common project.

It's Saturday, so I'll stop my blog lecture for today.

Children of the Promise

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On June 19, 2011, Grace McKean dedicated the morning worship service to various ministries opportunities in Haiti. I'll post another day about all the people involved in this process, but for this post, I want to focus on where they are currently living and the care they are receiving.

Our kids are currently living at Children of the Promise (COTP). Based upon the pictures we've seen and conversations with a few people who have been there, we are really pleased by the care that the children are receiving. Of course, with so many children living there, there are many needs.

If you are interested in more information, the website provides information about the founders, the children who are living there as well as an oversight about the reach of the ministry. The Facebook page provides more information about the needs of COTP. The blog provides more details about the children who are living there.

Where, Exactly, is Haiti?

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In case you didn't know...

Our children are currently living in Cap-Haïtien, Haiti (on the northern coast).

"Children of God" - Third Day

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Our friend, Erica, first told us about this video. Enjoy.

Where it all began...

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Throughout this process Julie and I have spent some time talking about how we ended up at this point in our adoption journey. We were married for two years by 2001 while we were living in Plum Borough (east suburbs of Pittsburgh, PA). Sometime during that year or 2002 we would spend some random evenings looking through adoption websites; the specific one we can remember is Precious In His Sight. We remember looking through pictures of children from various countries around the world. Looking back there is really no explanation for why we often stopped at the websites promoting Haitian adoption. But now, ten years later, we can see where God first planted this seed in our lives.

In hindsight this all makes sense. Perhaps God knew if we could see both the highs and the lows of the next ten years we never would have chosen this path.